Love for a Metro Sapien : Love aaj kal

No drama, no frills, no nervous breakdowns on soulmate's marriage or break up and moving to other city, No hamming I love yous being thrown across the screen to show how two people and their lives are connected by a simple yet incredible emotion called Love. For a friday bollywood release produced by a filmstar and directed by someone who had just hit big time with his previous movie, Love aaj Kal comes across as breezy, profound and yet very very earnest.

I will try to keep this one short cos most of the time, my friends sleep through my technical and emotional connect with films that comes across as a review. So lets start with basics: Story. At story level the movie will sound absolutely plain, tasteless and bland. Like last year's Jaane tu ya jaane na, heres where screenplay takes over and paves way for dialogues. They may sound corny, maybe too much, too soon but this movie has got some very casual cool conversational lines that just connect to audience, to situations and characters without trying too hard. Just like Saif's character is advised in movie to stop trying to be cool and that's when you become cool, Imtiaz Ali and Saif have cracked this movie and its coolness quotient by not being wannabe. No preaching here, no judgements being passed by director on his characters... he lets pre marital sex, break ups, decisions of their life be natural as characters progress in the story. This leaves audience with no will to judge but only to know more about them, see the movie.

Well i am in love with the movie, cos it took me back to junctures in my life, made me relive my tongue tied farewells, impulsive decisions to be practical and let someone who might have been my soulmate go by. Now for a summary - Deepika is amazing, she lives the panache of her character and it shows. Big doe eyes help her in a character who speaks less but understands more. Saif is super duper and i think after Salam Namaste and Omkara gives one more honest performance.Pritam's music is well used though two songs are just mandatory to take the story ahead.

Cinematography is great. Editing is patchy but i choose to look over it. Duration wise the climax maybe bit of a drag cos nothing dramatic happens there (oops a spoiler but you can only see the movie if you are not expecting any high jinx). Rahul Khanna and Vir Das might have been wasted but thats also okay. Rishi Kapoor doesnt have significant much to do but is pleasant to have him on screen here.

For me, the beauty of this film is its earnesty. Hero gets beaten, heroine is independent and is okay with break up but longs for hero to marry her or see her off at the airport. Its like us. People like you and me today. It reflects us. its a mirror that shows our flaws and asks us to correct. it also shows what we have and do not appreciate. It shows life of a metro sapien, who could be anyone. It shows how conscience remains the same. We all want to love and be loved no matter what the pretences our lives bring upon us, the truth remains.

Love aaj kal is a brilliant film. Thank you Imtiaz Ali for making my belief in Indian film industry stronger. For all those. Thank you Saif for not hogging the screen time like Kamal Hassan while producing. Thanks to all who made my evening a bundle of mixed emotions and left me pondering and questioning about this four letter word , how it defines me as i define my love and what it means to me today

Resolve

A karma I have carried for aeons

I am weary now

Torn from within

The battle never ceases

The voices in my head cry

Each step is a war

I am bound and free

I am old but am new

I chose this thawing

I chose this churning

I pray

I breathe

Move on no matter what

I have to find my trust

I have to find my hope

Theres no turning back

I have to face my mirror

I have to be a victor

I can cry but I wont

I am weak but strong enough to say it

I pray

I breathe

Move on no matter what

I have lost before

I am losing even now

Its a struggle called life

I refuse to give in anymore

Looks like a punishment but its a choice

I want to get to the other side

Am i happy?

Yes I am

Deep within there is a smile

It springs every time I face my darkness

It grows every time I defeat the wrong

Ignorance has gone, I have awakened

I pray

I breathe

I have just one thought

Move on no matter what

mohabbat aur main

Tha shayad junoon ya khel koi, sab samajhe ke pyaar tha
Khayalon mein sawaal liye chalta raha dil mera beqaraar tha
Har aahat uski sunke dhadak jaaya karta, jaane chahat pe kyun na iqtiyaar tha
Kuch lamhein khamosh se, kuch hansi se goonjte hue, har kadam pe uska intezaar tha
mila jo woh toh shartein apni chod gaya, mera naseeb uska karobaar tha
karta raha main bekhud hi uski marzee, apni khushi mein mile uska gham is baat se mujhe inkaar tha
bozhil safar ho gaya kuch durr, main kya bataata usse ke tujhse milne se pehle main kitna khush gawaar tha
Badhtha raha hoon main us raaste pe humsafar dhoondne jahaan ajnabiyon se hi sarogaar tha
Aaj tuta jaise saaz koi, sailaab aaya jo armaanon ka, na kashti, na koi nakhuda, main beech majhdhaar tha
Haath chutt gaye aur na alvida kiya, lab bhi na khule, ek aansoo keh gaya main kitna bezaar tha
Maanta hoon woh manzil nahin tha meri, to kya hua ke woh aur kuch na ban saka, woh saathi nahin tha par phir bhi mera yaar tha
Rukke poocha khuda se yeh bataa kya meri tamaam umra ki mehfil, meri tamanaon khushiyaan ka har pal tere liye koi tamaasha - ek hasraton ka bazaar tha?
Baraste aasmaan ki boondon ne chua, chedte hue suna gayii ke teri talash ek awaara pan hai, safar hi tera maqsad hai - saath nahin, tu hamesha se hi khaakgaar tha

Light beckons with Obama's speech at cairo

Life is about peace... and happiness is the quest for all of us.... Obama's Speech at Cairo according to me is sign of better times ahead, its marked with wisdom, courage and determination... its long but surely worth it ... cos we can all learn, we can all know and we can all realise how connected we all are as beings of this planet... here goes

US President Barrack Obama's Speech at Cairo on 4th June 2009

I am honored to be in the timeless city of Cairo, and to be hosted by two remarkable institutions. For over a thousand years, Al-Azhar has stood as a beacon of Islamic learning, and for over a century, Cairo University has been a source of Egypt's advancement. Together, you represent the harmony between tradition and progress. I am grateful for your hospitality, and the hospitality of the people of Egypt. I am also proud to carry with me the goodwill of the American people, and a greeting of peace from Muslim communities in my country: assalaamu alaykum.

We meet at a time of tension between the United States and Muslims around the world - tension rooted in historical forces that go beyond any current policy debate. The relationship between Islam and the West includes centuries of co-existence and cooperation, but also conflict and religious wars. More recently, tension has been fed by colonialism that denied rights and opportunities to many Muslims, and a Cold War in which Muslim-majority countries were too often treated as proxies without regard to their own aspirations. Moreover, the sweeping change brought by modernity and globalization led many Muslims to view the West as hostile to the traditions of Islam.

Violent extremists have exploited these tensions in a small but potent minority of Muslims. The attacks of September 11th, 2001 and the continued efforts of these extremists to engage in violence against civilians has led some in my country to view Islam as inevitably hostile not only to America and Western countries, but also to human rights. This has bred more fear and mistrust.

So long as our relationship is defined by our differences, we will empower those who sow hatred rather than peace, and who promote conflict rather than the cooperation that can help all of our people achieve justice and prosperity. This cycle of suspicion and discord must end.

I have come here to seek a new beginning between the United States and Muslims around the world; one based upon mutual interest and mutual respect; and one based upon the truth that America and Islam are not exclusive, and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles - principles of justice and progress; tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.

I do so recognizing that change cannot happen overnight. No single speech can eradicate years of mistrust, nor can I answer in the time that I have all the complex questions that brought us to this point. But I am convinced that in order to move forward, we must say openly the things we hold in our hearts, and that too often are said only behind closed doors. There must be a sustained effort to listen to each other; to learn from each other; to respect one another; and to seek common ground. As the Holy Koran tells us, "Be conscious of God and speak always the truth." That is what I will try to do - to speak the truth as best I can, humbled by the task before us, and firm in my belief that the interests we share as human beings are far more powerful than the forces that drive us apart.

Part of this conviction is rooted in my own experience. I am a Christian, but my father came from a Kenyan family that includes generations of Muslims. As a boy, I spent several years in Indonesia and heard the call of the azaan at the break of dawn and the fall of dusk. As a young man, I worked in Chicago communities where many found dignity and peace in their Muslim faith. As a student of history, I also know civilization's debt to Islam. It was Islam - at places like Al-Azhar University - that carried the light of learning through so many centuries, paving the way for Europe's Renaissance and Enlightenment. It was innovation in Muslim communities that developed the order of algebra; our magnetic compass and tools of navigation; our mastery of pens and printing; our understanding of how disease spreads and how it can be healed. Islamic culture has given us majestic arches and soaring spires; timeless poetry and cherished music; elegant calligraphy and places of peaceful contemplation. And throughout history, Islam has demonstrated through words and deeds the possibilities of religious tolerance and racial equality.

I know, too, that Islam has always been a part of America's story. The first nation to recognize my country was Morocco. In signing the Treaty of Tripoli in 1796, our second President John Adams wrote, "The United States has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Muslims." And since our founding, American Muslims have enriched the United States. They have fought in our wars, served in government, stood for civil rights, started businesses, taught at our Universities, excelled in our sports arenas, won Nobel Prizes, built our tallest building, and lit the Olympic Torch. And when the first Muslim-American was recently elected to Congress, he took the oath to defend our Constitution using the same Holy Koran that one of our Founding Fathers - Thomas Jefferson - kept in his personal library.

So I have known Islam on three continents before coming to the region where it was first revealed. That experience guides my conviction that partnership between America and Islam must be based on what Islam is, not what it isn't. And I consider it part of my responsibility as President of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.

But that same principle must apply to Muslim perceptions of America. Just as Muslims do not fit a crude stereotype, America is not the crude stereotype of a self-interested empire. The United States has been one of the greatest sources of progress that the world has ever known. We were born out of revolution against an empire. We were founded upon the ideal that all are created equal, and we have shed blood and struggled for centuries to give meaning to those words - within our borders, and around the world. We are shaped by every culture, drawn from every end of the Earth, and dedicated to a simple concept: E pluribus unum: "Out of many, one."

Much has been made of the fact that an African-American with the name Barack Hussein Obama could be elected President. But my personal story is not so unique. The dream of opportunity for all people has not come true for everyone in America, but its promise exists for all who come to our shores - that includes nearly seven million American Muslims in our country today who enjoy incomes and education that are higher than average.

Moreover, freedom in America is indivisible from the freedom to practice one's religion. That is why there is a mosque in every state of our union, and over 1,200 mosques within our borders. That is why the U.S. government has gone to court to protect the right of women and girls to wear the hijab, and to punish those who would deny it.

So let there be no doubt: Islam is a part of America. And I believe that America holds within her the truth that regardless of race, religion, or station in life, all of us share common aspirations - to live in peace and security; to get an education and to work with dignity; to love our families, our communities, and our God. These things we share. This is the hope of all humanity.

Of course, recognizing our common humanity is only the beginning of our task. Words alone cannot meet the needs of our people. These needs will be met only if we act boldly in the years ahead; and if we understand that the challenges we face are shared, and our failure to meet them will hurt us all.

For we have learned from recent experience that when a financial system weakens in one country, prosperity is hurt everywhere. When a new flu infects one human being, all are at risk. When one nation pursues a nuclear weapon, the risk of nuclear attack rises for all nations. When violent extremists operate in one stretch of mountains, people are endangered across an ocean. And when innocents in Bosnia and Darfur are slaughtered, that is a stain on our collective conscience. That is what it means to share this world in the 21st century. That is the responsibility we have to one another as human beings.

This is a difficult responsibility to embrace. For human history has often been a record of nations and tribes subjugating one another to serve their own interests. Yet in this new age, such attitudes are self-defeating. Given our interdependence, any world order that elevates one nation or group of people over another will inevitably fail. So whatever we think of the past, we must not be prisoners of it. Our problems must be dealt with through partnership; progress must be shared.

That does not mean we should ignore sources of tension. Indeed, it suggests the opposite: we must face these tensions squarely. And so in that spirit, let me speak as clearly and plainly as I can about some specific issues that I believe we must finally confront together.

The first issue that we have to confront is violent extremism in all of its forms.

In Ankara, I made clear that America is not - and never will be - at war with Islam. We will, however, relentlessly confront violent extremists who pose a grave threat to our security. Because we reject the same thing that people of all faiths reject: the killing of innocent men, women, and children. And it is my first duty as President to protect the American people.

The situation in Afghanistan demonstrates America's goals, and our need to work together. Over seven years ago, the United States pursued al Qaeda and the Taliban with broad international support. We did not go by choice, we went because of necessity. I am aware that some question or justify the events of 9/11. But let us be clear: al Qaeda killed nearly 3,000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet Al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people, claimed credit for the attack, and even now states their determination to kill on a massive scale. They have affiliates in many countries and are trying to expand their reach. These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.

Make no mistake: we do not want to keep our troops in Afghanistan. We seek no military bases there. It is agonizing for America to lose our young men and women. It is costly and politically difficult to continue this conflict. We would gladly bring every single one of our troops home if we could be confident that there were not violent extremists in Afghanistan and Pakistan determined to kill as many Americans as they possibly can. But that is not yet the case.

That's why we're partnering with a coalition of forty-six countries. And despite the costs involved, America's commitment will not weaken. Indeed, none of us should tolerate these extremists. They have killed in many countries. They have killed people of different faiths - more than any other, they have killed Muslims. Their actions are irreconcilable with the rights of human beings, the progress of nations, and with Islam. The Holy Koran teaches that whoever kills an innocent, it is as if he has killed all mankind; and whoever saves a person, it is as if he has saved all mankind. The enduring faith of over a billion people is so much bigger than the narrow hatred of a few. Islam is not part of the problem in combating violent extremism - it is an important part of promoting peace.

We also know that military power alone is not going to solve the problems in Afghanistan and Pakistan. That is why we plan to invest $1.5 billion each year over the next five years to partner with Pakistanis to build schools and hospitals, roads and businesses, and hundreds of millions to help those who have been displaced. And that is why we are providing more than $2.8 billion to help Afghans develop their economy and deliver services that people depend upon.

Let me also address the issue of Iraq. Unlike Afghanistan, Iraq was a war of choice that provoked strong differences in my country and around the world. Although I believe that the Iraqi people are ultimately better off without the tyranny of Saddam Hussein, I also believe that events in Iraq have reminded America of the need to use diplomacy and build international consensus to resolve our problems whenever possible. Indeed, we can recall the words of Thomas Jefferson, who said: "I hope that our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us that the less we use our power the greater it will be."

Today, America has a dual responsibility: to help Iraq forge a better future - and to leave Iraq to Iraqis. I have made it clear to the Iraqi people that we pursue no bases, and no claim on their territory or resources. Iraq's sovereignty is its own. That is why I ordered the removal of our combat brigades by next August. That is why we will honor our agreement with Iraq's democratically-elected government to remove combat troops from Iraqi cities by July, and to remove all our troops from Iraq by 2012. We will help Iraq train its Security Forces and develop its economy. But we will support a secure and united Iraq as a partner, and never as a patron. And finally, just as America can never tolerate violence by extremists, we must never alter our principles. 9/11 was an enormous trauma to our country. The fear and anger that it provoked was understandable, but in some cases, it led us to act contrary to our ideals. We are taking concrete actions to change course. I have unequivocally prohibited the use of torture by the United States, and I have ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed by early next year.

So America will defend itself respectful of the sovereignty of nations and the rule of law. And we will do so in partnership with Muslim communities which are also threatened. The sooner the extremists are isolated and unwelcome in Muslim communities, the sooner we will all be safer.

The second major source of tension that we need to discuss is the situation between Israelis, Palestinians and the Arab world.

America's strong bonds with Israel are well known. This bond is unbreakable. It is based upon cultural and historical ties, and the recognition that the aspiration for a Jewish homeland is rooted in a tragic history that cannot be denied.

Around the world, the Jewish people were persecuted for centuries, and anti-Semitism in Europe culminated in an unprecedented Holocaust. Tomorrow, I will visit Buchenwald, which was part of a network of camps where Jews were enslaved, tortured, shot and gassed to death by the Third Reich. Six million Jews were killed - more than the entire Jewish population of Israel today. Denying that fact is baseless, ignorant, and hateful. Threatening Israel with destruction - or repeating vile stereotypes about Jews - is deeply wrong, and only serves to evoke in the minds of Israelis this most painful of memories while preventing the peace that the people of this region deserve.

On the other hand, it is also undeniable that the Palestinian people - Muslims and Christians - have suffered in pursuit of a homeland. For more than sixty years they have endured the pain of dislocation. Many wait in refugee camps in the West Bank, Gaza, and neighboring lands for a life of peace and security that they have never been able to lead. They endure the daily humiliations - large and small - that come with occupation. So let there be no doubt: the situation for the Palestinian people is intolerable. America will not turn our backs on the legitimate Palestinian aspiration for dignity, opportunity, and a state of their own.

For decades, there has been a stalemate: two peoples with legitimate aspirations, each with a painful history that makes compromise elusive. It is easy to point fingers - for Palestinians to point to the displacement brought by Israel's founding, and for Israelis to point to the constant hostility and attacks throughout its history from within its borders as well as beyond. But if we see this conflict only from one side or the other, then we will be blind to the truth: the only resolution is for the aspirations of both sides to be met through two states, where Israelis and Palestinians each live in peace and security.

That is in Israel's interest, Palestine's interest, America's interest, and the world's interest. That is why I intend to personally pursue this outcome with all the patience that the task requires. The obligations that the parties have agreed to under the Road Map are clear. For peace to come, it is time for them - and all of us - to live up to our responsibilities.

Palestinians must abandon violence. Resistance through violence and killing is wrong and does not succeed. For centuries, black people in America suffered the lash of the whip as slaves and the humiliation of segregation. But it was not violence that won full and equal rights. It was a peaceful and determined insistence upon the ideals at the center of America's founding. This same story can be told by people from South Africa to South Asia; from Eastern Europe to Indonesia. It's a story with a simple truth: that violence is a dead end. It is a sign of neither courage nor power to shoot rockets at sleeping children, or to blow up old women on a bus. That is not how moral authority is claimed; that is how it is surrendered.

Now is the time for Palestinians to focus on what they can build. The Palestinian Authority must develop its capacity to govern, with institutions that serve the needs of its people. Hamas does have support among some Palestinians, but they also have responsibilities. To play a role in fulfilling Palestinian aspirations, and to unify the Palestinian people, Hamas must put an end to violence, recognize past agreements, and recognize Israel's right to exist.

At the same time, Israelis must acknowledge that just as Israel's right to exist cannot be denied, neither can Palestine's. The United States does not accept the legitimacy of continued Israeli settlements. This construction violates previous agreements and undermines efforts to achieve peace. It is time for these settlements to stop.

Israel must also live up to its obligations to ensure that Palestinians can live, and work, and develop their society. And just as it devastates Palestinian families, the continuing humanitarian crisis in Gaza does not serve Israel's security; neither does the continuing lack of opportunity in the West Bank. Progress in the daily lives of the Palestinian people must be part of a road to peace, and Israel must take concrete steps to enable such progress.

Finally, the Arab States must recognize that the Arab Peace Initiative was an important beginning, but not the end of their responsibilities. The Arab-Israeli conflict should no longer be used to distract the people of Arab nations from other problems. Instead, it must be a cause for action to help the Palestinian people develop the institutions that will sustain their state; to recognize Israel's legitimacy; and to choose progress over a self-defeating focus on the past.

America will align our policies with those who pursue peace, and say in public what we say in private to Israelis and Palestinians and Arabs. We cannot impose peace. But privately, many Muslims recognize that Israel will not go away. Likewise, many Israelis recognize the need for a Palestinian state. It is time for us to act on what everyone knows to be true. Too many tears have flowed. Too much blood has been shed. All of us have a responsibility to work for the day when the mothers of Israelis and Palestinians can see their children grow up without fear; when the Holy Land of three great faiths is the place of peace that God intended it to be; when Jerusalem is a secure and lasting home for Jews and Christians and Muslims, and a place for all of the children of Abraham to mingle peacefully together as in the story of Isra, when Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed (peace be upon them) joined in prayer.

The third source of tension is our shared interest in the rights and responsibilities of nations on nuclear weapons.

This issue has been a source of tension between the United States and the Islamic Republic of Iran. For many years, Iran has defined itself in part by its opposition to my country, and there is indeed a tumultuous history between us. In the middle of the Cold War, the United States played a role in the overthrow of a democratically- elected Iranian government. Since the Islamic Revolution, Iran has played a role in acts of hostage-taking and violence against U.S. troops and civilians. This history is well known. Rather than remain trapped in the past, I have made it clear to Iran's leaders and people that my country is prepared to move forward. The question, now, is not what Iran is against, but rather what future it wants to build.

It will be hard to overcome decades of mistrust, but we will proceed with courage, rectitude and resolve. There will be many issues to discuss between our two countries, and we are willing to move forward without preconditions on the basis of mutual respect. But it is clear to all concerned that when it comes to nuclear weapons, we have reached a decisive point. This is not simply about America's interests. It is about preventing a nuclear arms race in the Middle East that could lead this region and the world down a hugely dangerous path.

I understand those who protest that some countries have weapons that others do not. No single nation should pick and choose which nations hold nuclear weapons. That is why I strongly reaffirmed America's commitment to seek a world in which no nations hold nuclear weapons. And any nation - including Iran - should have the right to access peaceful nuclear power if it complies with its responsibilities under the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. That commitment is at the core of the Treaty, and it must be kept for all who fully abide by it. And I am hopeful that all countries in the region can share in this goal.

The fourth issue that I will address is democracy.

I know there has been controversy about the promotion of democracy in recent years, and much of this controversy is connected to the war in Iraq. So let me be clear: no system of government can or should be imposed upon one nation by any other.

That does not lessen my commitment, however, to governments that reflect the will of the people. Each nation gives life to this principle in its own way, grounded in the traditions of its own people. America does not presume to know what is best for everyone, just as we would not presume to pick the outcome of a peaceful election. But I do have an unyielding belief that all people yearn for certain things: the ability to speak your mind and have a say in how you are governed; confidence in the rule of law and the equal administration of justice; government that is transparent and doesn't steal from the people; the freedom to live as you choose. Those are not just American ideas, they are human rights, and that is why we will support them everywhere.

There is no straight line to realize this promise. But this much is clear: governments that protect these rights are ultimately more stable, successful and secure. Suppressing ideas never succeeds in making them go away. America respects the right of all peaceful and law-abiding voices to be heard around the world, even if we disagree with them. And we will welcome all elected, peaceful governments - provided they govern with respect for all their people.

This last point is important because there are some who advocate for democracy only when they are out of power; once in power, they are ruthless in suppressing the rights of others. No matter where it takes hold, government of the people and by the people sets a single standard for all who hold power: you must maintain your power through consent, not coercion; you must respect the rights of minorities, and participate with a spirit of tolerance and compromise; you must place the interests of your people and the legitimate workings of the political process above your party. Without these ingredients, elections alone do not make true democracy.

The fifth issue that we must address together is religious freedom.

Islam has a proud tradition of tolerance. We see it in the history of Andalusia and Cordoba during the Inquisition. I saw it firsthand as a child in Indonesia, where devout Christians worshiped freely in an overwhelmingly Muslim country. That is the spirit we need today. People in every country should be free to choose and live their faith based upon the persuasion of the mind, heart, and soul. This tolerance is essential for religion to thrive, but it is being challenged in many different ways.

Among some Muslims, there is a disturbing tendency to measure one's own faith by the rejection of another's. The richness of religious diversity must be upheld - whether it is for Maronites in Lebanon or the Copts in Egypt. And fault lines must be closed among Muslims as well, as the divisions between Sunni and Shia have led to tragic violence, particularly in Iraq.

Freedom of religion is central to the ability of peoples to live together. We must always examine the ways in which we protect it. For instance, in the United States, rules on charitable giving have made it harder for Muslims to fulfill their religious obligation. That is why I am committed to working with American Muslims to ensure that they can fulfill zakat.

Likewise, it is important for Western countries to avoid impeding Muslim citizens from practicing religion as they see fit - for instance, by dictating what clothes a Muslim woman should wear. We cannot disguise hostility towards any religion behind the pretence of liberalism.

Indeed, faith should bring us together. That is why we are forging service projects in America that bring together Christians, Muslims, and Jews. That is why we welcome efforts like Saudi Arabian King Abdullah's Interfaith dialogue and Turkey's leadership in the Alliance of Civilizations. Around the world, we can turn dialogue into Interfaith service, so bridges between peoples lead to action - whether it is combating malaria in Africa, or providing relief after a natural disaster.

The sixth issue that I want to address is women's rights.

I know there is debate about this issue. I reject the view of some in the West that a woman who chooses to cover her hair is somehow less equal, but I do believe that a woman who is denied an education is denied equality. And it is no coincidence that countries where women are well-educated are far more likely to be prosperous.

Now let me be clear: issues of women's equality are by no means simply an issue for Islam. In Turkey, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Indonesia, we have seen Muslim-majority countries elect a woman to lead. Meanwhile, the struggle for women's equality continues in many aspects of American life, and in countries around the world.

Our daughters can contribute just as much to society as our sons, and our common prosperity will be advanced by allowing all humanity - men and women - to reach their full potential. I do not believe that women must make the same choices as men in order to be equal, and I respect those women who choose to live their lives in traditional roles. But it should be their choice. That is why the United States will partner with any Muslim-majority country to support expanded literacy for girls, and to help young women pursue employment through micro-financing that helps people live their dreams.

Finally, I want to discuss economic development and opportunity.

I know that for many, the face of globalization is contradictory. The Internet and television can bring knowledge and information, but also offensive sexuality and mindless violence. Trade can bring new wealth and opportunities, but also huge disruptions and changing communities. In all nations - including my own - this change can bring fear. Fear that because of modernity we will lose of control over our economic choices, our politics, and most importantly our identities - those things we most cherish about our communities, our families, our traditions, and our faith.

But I also know that human progress cannot be denied. There need not be contradiction between development and tradition. Countries like Japan and South Korea grew their economies while maintaining distinct cultures. The same is true for the astonishing progress within Muslim-majority countries from Kuala Lumpur to Dubai. In ancient times and in our times, Muslim communities have been at the forefront of innovation and education.

This is important because no development strategy can be based only upon what comes out of the ground, nor can it be sustained while young people are out of work. Many Gulf States have enjoyed great wealth as a consequence of oil, and some are beginning to focus it on broader development. But all of us must recognize that education and innovation will be the currency of the 21st century, and in too many Muslim communities there remains underinvestment in these areas. I am emphasizing such investments within my country. And while America in the past has focused on oil and gas in this part of the world, we now seek a broader engagement.

On education, we will expand exchange programs, and increase scholarships, like the one that brought my father to America, while encouraging more Americans to study in Muslim communities. And we will match promising Muslim students with internships in America; invest in on-line learning for teachers and children around the world; and create a new online network, so a teenager in Kansas can communicate instantly with a teenager in Cairo.

On economic development, we will create a new corps of business volunteers to partner with counterparts in Muslim-majority countries. And I will host a Summit on Entrepreneurship this year to identify how we can deepen ties between business leaders, foundations and social entrepreneurs in the United States and Muslim communities around the world.

On science and technology, we will launch a new fund to support technological development in Muslim-majority countries, and to help transfer ideas to the marketplace so they can create jobs. We will open centers of scientific excellence in Africa, the Middle East and Southeast Asia, and appoint new Science Envoys to collaborate on programs that develop new sources of energy, create green jobs, digitize records, clean water, and grow new crops. And today I am announcing a new global effort with the Organization of the Islamic Conference to eradicate polio. And we will also expand partnerships with Muslim communities to promote child and maternal health.

All these things must be done in partnership. Americans are ready to join with citizens and governments; community organizations, religious leaders, and businesses in Muslim communities around the world to help our people pursue a better life.

The issues that I have described will not be easy to address. But we have a responsibility to join together on behalf of the world we seek - a world where extremists no longer threaten our people, and American troops have come home; a world where Israelis and Palestinians are each secure in a state of their own, and nuclear energy is used for peaceful purposes; a world where governments serve their citizens, and the rights of all God's children are respected. Those are mutual interests. That is the world we seek. But we can only achieve it together.

I know there are many - Muslim and non-Muslim - who question whether we can forge this new beginning. Some are eager to stoke the flames of division, and to stand in the way of progress. Some suggest that it isn't worth the effort - that we are fated to disagree, and civilizations are doomed to clash. Many more are simply skeptical that real change can occur. There is so much fear, so much mistrust. But if we choose to be bound by the past, we will never move forward. And I want to particularly say this to young people of every faith, in every country - you, more than anyone, have the ability to remake this world.

All of us share this world for but a brief moment in time. The question is whether we spend that time focused on what pushes us apart, or whether we commit ourselves to an effort - a sustained effort - to find common ground, to focus on the future we seek for our children, and to respect the dignity of all human beings.

It is easier to start wars than to end them. It is easier to blame others than to look inward; to see what is different about someone than to find the things we share. But we should choose the right path, not just the easy path. There is also one rule that lies at the heart of every religion - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. This truth transcends nations and peoples - a belief that isn't new; that isn't black or white or brown; that isn't Christian, or Muslim or Jew. It's a belief that pulsed in the cradle of civilization, and that still beats in the heart of billions. It's a faith in other people, and it's what brought me here today.

We have the power to make the world we seek, but only if we have the courage to make a new beginning, keeping in mind what has been written.

The Holy Koran tells us, "O mankind! We have created you male and a female; and we have made you into nations and tribes so that you may know one another."

The Talmud tells us: "The whole of the Torah is for the purpose of promoting peace."

The Holy Bible tells us, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

The people of the world can live together in peace. We know that is God's vision. Now, that must be our work here on Earth. Thank you. And may God's peace be upon you.

END

Innocence lost

Something fundamental and worrisome plagues our daily lives. It threatens the fabric of civilised living. I am not talking of homosexuality. I am talking of child abuse rather more specifically abuse of a male child. Ever since my boyhood i have been aware of the predators. Not because of my parents and their cautious upbringing but moreso due to the middle class upbringing. It was the unspoken responsibility of taking care of the most precious possession of an average joe – our dignity. Allowing myself to be humiliated or violated was out of the question. I was aware rather alert of reactions from early phases of my life. Unwanted attention to my distinct traits ( i do not judge myself or others on social parameters of gender confirmation) was always worrisome.

I remember the paanwala of my building and son of a close family friend referring to my fair thighs at age of 7 being like ones of a tarty starlet who had bared it all in a bollywood flick under waterfall. Also I remember that I did not realise the reason of my dislike for these conversations. Many many years later I was a minor being seduced by a younger lad and still my inner voices protested. I failed to register the exact reason. The consciousness that the act is not right remained without a word being exchanged about it in my surroundings. Today i chose to express myself about this taboo subject as I see two friends of mine – different as chalk and cheese dealing with their pasts, which were tainted and marked by incidences of betrayal, deceit and inhumane devilish attack on their free will by close family members. Yes, they were victims of child abuse. Today they are leading their lives as men who have moved ahead but alterations in their life due to these acts are visible.

Their struggle to break through, reach out, and love themselves without any guilt was inspiring as well as unnerving to me. One is my closest friend who seeks his childhood through pampering himself and friends. He happily eats, shops and gives his childlike loyalty decisively to a few of us. Let us call him S. In spite of going through storms of these continuous attacks on his very being, he chooses to laugh on his past and zealously guards his feelings by talking openly to seem like he is hiding nothing and acting as if he has disconnected himself to the hurt caused. He indulges at every step and compensates for love and attention, the care that he missed during the turbulent phase. The guilty people who are part of his family lead their miserable lives- hollow and shallow everyday looking at their mirror in his eyes. I am sure they can’t meet his gaze. His approach is silent protest – a passive aggressive celebration of their downfall and being proven right thereby turning tables by emerging stronger than the abusers. Imagine being happy when they derived strength from your fear. Imagine being successful when they tried their best to keep you from good bounded in web of their lust and negativities. Imagine breaking open the shell and breathing lungful after gasping for a ray of light or touch of a breeze. I can see it in his glint, in his every step, that he lives on personifying the nightmare of any abuser i.e. their victim being strong and independent. The silence of his dignity and perseverance is a deafening slap on their ugly faces. They don’t deserve any less.

The second person in question is my friend R. His life too was sullied by the dirty minds and acts of his relative. R has grown up to be an intellectual. His career is going fine and he has empowered himself by lending shoulder first to his best friend, then to a failed lover and finally to a community i.e. LGBT family of India. He has chosen to be part of the bigger picture. He loves animals and speaks up for them, respects women and writes a blog that advocates equal rights amongst many other subjects. He also talks for all those children who will grow up under the influence of boogeymen lurking close to them and silently thriving on their helplessness. R has surrounded himself with core issues of multiple people and wants to solve each of them. He has found his voice while speaking up for others. He talks again freely of his abuse and his choice to be gay. He lives as per his own rules and takes on every opportunity to express and intiate cause based movements online or offline. Hes seen with poor one day a week and sets up a helpline for terror struck citizens the other day, writes a blog supporting social change in night and works on commercial event properties ideation by the day. He seemingly has found his calling. He’s fast heading to a career in politics laced with fame and fortune. He helps wholeheartedly and has successfully transformed his poison into medicine i.e. derived strength from the weakest moments of his life. I see R losing inspite of his soaring popularity. His close friends are few unlike S. His need to talk about his contribution to each cause and his desire to be acknowledged is more than evident. I see him yet being a child who yearns for attention from a correct person. His persona of a happy go lucky intellectual and social activist is a clever garb to hide his desperation to beat the satanic shadows of his past. He has clinged to the pain and relives it every time he shares his life story.

They are two people with lost innocence. They stay in the same city but are worlds apart. They both support reading down of IPC section 377 and making a new separate law for child abuse. They also want others to know that male child is also at equal risk of abuse as much as females. That is where the similarities end. While one chooses to lose himself in problems of others and neglects his past while wanting to be respected for what he’s been through, the other one enjoys company of friends, dances, discusses and flirts his nights away. They both have scars which are impossible to get rid of but to talk of both these survivors in one breath is almost impossible. The beliefs that S shares are his own. His presence in our lives comes without the weight that the need to fit in or out do others brings on platter. This is because S discovered himself and continues on the route of self discovery while R has fallen for the charm of another devil called fame- this time willingly.

Their choices are obviously both respect worthy but while R is escaping, S has faced and moved on from a much worse nightmare. He walks with a bouncing step and is full of life even after midnight normally. He is unputdownable. R is faking it till he discovers himself and S chooses to explore. Two people tied by an invisible thread, representing two aspects- two sides of a coin. It doesnt matter who i consider a winner and who a loser, what matters is that they are walking and their will to keep at it. I salute them both for their courage, their warmth, their humility and their inspirational presence in my life.


I conclude looking at them that it is essential for one to fall inorder to be stronger but the difference lies in how you get up and how truthfully and earnestly u make attempts to move ahead. I remember someone else at this moment – someone exemplary who suffered attacks herself and I leave both my friends and all of you with her words.

“ I can be changed by what happens to me. but I refuse to be reduced by it. -- Maya Angelou”

Such strength is what I pray to be instilled in hearts of all child abuse victims. Such wisdom should congeal the determination of all women enduring marital rape. Such vision should fill the horizons of all those who are awaiting a miracle to redeem them from their sufferings. Amen

In the name of life

I danced the night away. Clinkering glasses of wine and spirits added to the rhythm of the night. We bathed on dance floor in colours of celebrations painted over our moods- blue and battered from weekdays of struggle at work. Escaping from an earful by the boss, parents and loved ones, our refuge was perfect only until on my way back I saw a man with his son, dressed in pristine white unapologetically sleeping on a park bench.

Skies began crying. It poured in streams and not droplets as if Mother Nature finally had turned teary eyed without any sobs or sound. Maybe she was not in mood to be consoled

They ran for shelter while I rolled up windows of my cab. The little one clutched big hands and tried to shake sleep off his eyes. Dreams were not meant for him. It was in harsh waking truths that his life was to shape up. I don’t know why but i stopped the vehicle near them. The man was apprehensive till I showed my press badge and asked if everything is alright. He asked me to watch over his son till he fetches his stuff he left behind near the bench and I nodded silently asking him to cover his head with a newspaper I had in my bag. As he moved some metres away with fast sogging offering that I had given him, cabbie asked the boy what they were doing there at this hour. The boy looked up and turned towards the man and just to let us know that if he tells us as the man would be angry.

Considering it a kidnap or some such shady business, I probed further and prompted the boy to speak up if there is anything wrong. I told him sleeping in park is illegal and police officers would be happy to get them moving if I complained.
At my attempt, looking down he muttered unapologetically that there is no need. Their landlord had thrown them out and his father – the man that he was with had no money, so they were waiting for the temple doors to open in the morning. By the time, he finished a few more details about where they lived and the tea stall that they had nearby, the October rain stopped, and father returned. I offered them a lift if they wanted to go anywhere and he refused. After which I asked the cabbie to move from there.

Yes, I was smashed yet, not with the drinks but with my own view of life
There might be many 8 year olds in this world calling sky their home, a few supporting their parents in daily struggle without knowing the role that they play. That kid for me is answer to my prayers for guidance about my life. I could never pray specifically and always asked god to show me the answers as i move ahead in journey of life. Today was a landmark, a reason to celebrate as true reverence and faith had met me in person. They were contained in a small frame with a smaller mind, big eyes and bigger questions but yes the child and his self respect was bigger as he never asked for money which a child would normally and easily in this situation and stood being half drenched with rains instead of seeking convenient comfort from helpful strangers.

His determination shone in his eyes to move ahead and change the situation without being apologetic and to face the life like his father who did not expect this young life to seek help elsewhere. I remembered my maid who helps my landlady run her household in clockwork precision keeping my mind off the trivialities. Also about the watchman who guards my home 24x7 with his meagre pay, the rickshaw drivers who have left me at my correct destination when I did not have a clue and strangers who were hardworking poor people without begrudging their challenges in life.

On the other hand, I had my day job, the deadlines that I was ready to crib about, and my humble abode which lacked the best paintjob i desired. I realised at that moment the easy route of self pitying behaviour prevalent in the queer community of my city. There are challenges that lie ahead of us – social acceptance, section 377, fear and misunderstandings at every junction of our lives.

I asked myself while climbing the stairs towards my home when I visit the parties and hang out with friends or date, what is the void that needs to be filled? It is the spark of determination that the kid had. His acceptance of his realities and will to support his dear ones through it rather than an easy rebellion route or self-pity can guide each one of us.

I was sleepy and ready to enter the realm of dreams. The ones that showed the blue print of change required in our attitudes. The brighter, better tomorrow where each one of us brings to the fore – our unique views and creates value rather than spilling over petty issues of sexual compatibility with the cruisers at a particular location.

I guess it is these experiences that are humbling and for which Billy Joel wrote River of dreams which I am ready to enter blissfully

Lights, Rights and Fights of a Suburban Life

21 grams is the exact weight you lose from your body when you stop breathing; rather living and reduce to a mere body; rather corpse. Is that the weight of human life?

That's a question posed by a movie, which I saw a few years back. I remember very little about the movie but this question has remained at back of my head ever since. I have got answers to it partially time and again but the complete picture I guess will emerge only in final years of my life or at least I hope so.

I am writing today after long as amidst a usual day full of struggles to reach work on time, meeting client deadlines, work handed down by boss, catching up with friends over phone or in person as something unusual happened and I asked this again

We had just finished our dinner rather left it in between and walked out after finding a family of roaches resting in the bread basket of a famous mughlai restaurant not far from my home (we didn't pay them a dime of course). A minute after expressing my disapproval over my NRI friend's holier than thou views about India and its need to improve spurred by the dinner incident that a speeding truck brushed past him pretty close and parked a minute ahead.

I don't know what got into me and I rushed to the truck instead of my friend leaving him with another colleague who he has never met before in his life. I stood in front of the giant vehicle and began yelling full blast at the driver on the deserted road well past midnight. The guy who was definitely under the influence of alcohol, was looking amused at my act as my friend had no visible injuries and he wasn't the one who was making the noise.

I did not hit the man and began making him understand where his fault lies. He had not honked or blinked his lights and was oblivious to the fact that in his steep turn he has not made his super close parking but nearly hit someone who was saved by a microsecond by my colleague who pulled my friend very briefly from a larger harm.

For a person like me who follows a philosophy aiming at world peace - Nicherin Daishonin's Buddhism , this would seemingly be contradictory to his beliefs. it is not so in fact. I made a scene and noise enough to gather an audience of 5-6 people including two rickshaw guys and snatched the driver's ringing phone which he was more focused on. He was non-chalant about the whole episode and was standing proudly with his arm stretched over the bonnet of this large automobile.

I flung at him all that he could do in any such situations and reacted to each of his arguments about not knowing Hindi, which he was surprisingly saying in Hindi. He followed it up with his attempt to play the local Marathi language card, which was again busted as I am conversant and fluent in the language. This was followed by his over the top claim that he would pay 10 - 12 thousand rupees whatever the cost of medical damage and come to police station with me after calling his boss.

I refused to budge over his half hearted sorry mumbled with no remorse what so ever. He was more worried about delay in dumping of goods that he had been carrying for the night. My anger was mounting by the minute and I was now manhandling him to get into a rickshaw and at the same time asking him if he has realised what he has done to which he retorted with a very desi "it happens" statement. That nailed it and I stopped right there and began again on twice my earlier voice. It wasn't just his mistake but more so his attitude that made me aggressive. I was downright close enough looking at him in the eye, inches from his face and hurling away to glory about his attitude. My problem was with his excuses, which were coming by the minute and piling up.

The man was not yet convinced of his mistake and the spectators began butting in trying to take my side and every time I said I would have hit him but I want him not to do something like this again, he gave me " don’t make a issue where there is none, your friend is alive" look.

I refused to relent till I hear the man admit and realise the impact of his action rather than cocky, half hearted apologies which were coming few and far in between his arguments of how honking horn would have irritated us who were from rich families and so he did not do it before turning the truck. The driver had to apologise since I gave him no other option.

He came up with a “Are you hurt?” and I looked back sharply. I saw my friend who was hurt and was now tired as he saw no point in continuing and the other one who was just waiting for me to begin hitting this man

As much as I yelled, the crowd nearby agreed and supported me by talking to the driver about what I was saying a while back i.e. his options like honking the horn or applying brake or blinking lights during the turn. I let him go but informed him about how he has to change and learn to accept his mistakes or else him and his truck would never have a good effect back and would end up leading a very sorry life as it took him good 20 minutes, public reactions and my refusal to hand his phone to him which he wanted badly. By the looks of it, he was more concerned about his calls rather than the human life that we were talking about.

It was then I handed him back his cell phone and told the guy that I wish that he changes his ways or else what has been averted today would happen and when his family runs around to get him out of jail, his boss – the contractor he was calling would actually make him realise what he has not.

We left and walked ahead to cool our heads with a drink of coffee we were originally seeking but decided to go to our respective homes instead.

Any other person would say that our day had ended on not so good note but I differ, all that happened reassured me to carry on my quest to find my answer. What is the actual weight of life? How much does it matter? How do we instil this knowledge of holding our lives as treasures of hope, dreams, love and everything there is to being alive? How do we make humans more humane?

I smoked thoughtlessly , walking towards my home which is close by and realised that I have to find out the way of talking to each of these truck drivers from within my boss, my friends, my family, my city, my country, the world and within myself. The dialogue has to continue. My task does not end at confrontation. My task is to continue holding the knowledge that human life is precious and to convert it into wisdom into my sphere of work. I have to insure my events, not to overlook the fire norms or medical attention for cost cutting. I have to stop compromising rather neglecting the voice within.

It is me who gives life its weight, its meaning. It is me who makes it what its worth. It’s us who chose with our daily lives every moment whether our 21 grams would be used to awaken the struggle to give living its dignity, it’s worth by keeping the human life at the forefront of whatever we do.

I have my answer now and assure you that I would do my best to make my 21 grams of life worth it.

Fashion - good, bad and ugly sides of reel life and real

I would like to begin with a spoiler alert for all those who haven't seen the film, this write up may reveal too much or affect your opinions. please proceed only if you comply with the consequences

Fashion is made up of stellar performances,inconsistent direction, fewer gripping moments,fewer scenes where editor was awake, good dialogues, better cinematography supported by presence of more glamorous names than i can count on my fingers and toes, functional music, okayish supporting cast, a non existent script, completely predictable story, glossed up production design after a long time surprisingly by Nitin Desai and 3 hours of endless Priyanka Chopra. It left me with mix feelings like a man who has been teased but not been laid. It showed promise, it delivered at intervals but all of it at a pace so slow and in such a predictable 'fashion' that anyone would suffer from

The problem with Fashion is it tries to fit in too much and in the process doesn't communicate one single message to its viewers effectively like the director's earlier movies. I have silently maintained a grudge against the director of this movie for a long time. I like to believe that all his earlier subjects - Chandni bar, Satta, Page 3 and Corporate ( excluding his offerings like Trishakti, Aan and Traffic signal) were dealt in a focused single dimensional manner. Constant hellish depiction and misery, unhappiness and suffering in all his movies left a bitter taste in audience mind making them supposedly hard hitting. They all had an underlying message for the masses saying all that is glamourous is hollow, short lived, ends up horrid and wanted them to thank their stars if they are not exceptionally rich, famous or good looking cos that would surely be a bad news as his realistic movies show.Thats probably the reason they were successful cos they gave the audience what they want - a feel good factor that our lives are better than all those people's who we think have advantages over us.

I believe Fashion provides redemption to him in this department. We see a positive side of the coin as well even though it comes too late in the story and drags like rest of the movie. The protagonist emerges out of her hellish life but you have had enough of fashion by then like a dark chocolate cake you cannot get yourself to finish the last morsel of.

None of the scenes in Fashion create an impact to do justice enough to the scope of the story, camera work, performances, look & scale of the film. In spite of all this panning, its a brave effort, refreshing in look, evolved in sensibility, flawed like most bollywood projects but heads and shoulders above ordinary or average stuff that you see. Priyanka Chopra gets a major credit for it as she gets into skin of her character's every mannerism, her hesitations, ambitions, heart breaks, self loathing, a la lady macbeth. I say that in spite of hating all the cliches like a pansy make up artist being bullied, supermodel dying of drug overdose, lingerie photo shoot that our lead does not want to do, adultery that she regrets after a while, so on and so forth, I give Fashion 7.5 on 10. Its the 25 % that they didnt get right that bothers me ;)

Girls amongst the crew are smartest in this movie with Priyanka delivering her best performance till date, Kangana being as effective as always but wasted majorly with a small role and Mugdha Godse being fresh as a daisy, confident enough for most people not to notice that this is her debut. Boys prove to lag behind but Sameer Soni, Harsh Chaya deliver substance and dignity to their small roles as gay designers. Arjun bajwa has a good delivery only in one break up scene before interval. Arbaaz is effective in some scenes and completely funny faced in others as a corporate head honcho of India's top model management firm whose full time occupation seems lusting over his models and seducing them.

Coming to the real life element of the movie, all the inspirations for wardrobe malfunctioning, rehab of gitanjali, arrogance of Shivani Kapoor on being selected as face of Lakme and then having an attitude and drug problem, faces from page 3 like Nisha Jaamwval, Suchitra, Prahlad Kakkar, Shane and Falgooni Peacock, Karan Johar, Narendra Ahmed, Atul Kasbekar etc etc. might not even be registered by large part of audience but they yet add to authenticity of the movie. At the same time these real factors make the movie predictable and boring. I hope people realise while seeing this movie that fashion industry like evry other is made up of good, bad and the ugly, its cause and effect like every where else, so they must not see the reckless behaviour and form opinions rather observe that success, arrogance, compromise on ethics and other such causes bring drastic effects but the moment you chose back the right causes, there opens a way for anew destination.

This review cant end without mention of all my friends and acquaintances who have worked on this project- Suchita for VFX, Daman as Salim, Shruti who has rendered Mar jawaan song soul fully, Dilshad who has helped in Make up, Anuradha Tewari who has helped in story, screenplay and dialogues and all the others whose names i missed while rushing out of theatre... lemme know what you all think of the movie ;)

Back from the 3rd gear lane of life

It was a moment that made me change the speed of my life... the momentum of my being. Nearly a year back, I packed my bags from the slow lane of being just an event conceptualiser and a freelance writer to be more. I didn’t exactly know what more was and how much more I could be but handling additional responsibility of being a business development and client servicing person along with the ideator/ writer seemed like a correct direction. Just like all visions and dreams, this too needed me to replace and redirect all I had for getting where I wanted to be with a faint promise of being happier when I get there. After many events, promotions, pitches, nights of staying back at work, losing cell phones, developing one sleeping disorder and numerous cavities, adding reckless partying and vacationing to my leisure choices, putting up with clients who are either impossible or insane, it seems more can never be enough for us humans.

I had jumped on to the rollercoaster ride for thrills, expecting the change from the mundane, knowing that the time that it lasts, I will have to put up my brave face. I will have to give it my all – courage, alertness, alternative reflexes as per my comfort at times and as the moment requires at others. I am writing after forever. Not that endless number of presentations, proposals, half hearted drafts of scripts that some producer wanted me to write, some dialogues for a veteran dance guru’s own show on television teaching Indians how to dance, didn’t count... just that for me that was auto pilot.

It was my need for money writing some of those and need to stay on the job doing a few, a desire to prove myself to the colleagues and superiors pulling off some smart cocktail documents which tasted nice to them. I went by their guts, sold it on prices that I feel suit it, and stretched myself to be able to pull off a series of seemingly impossible manoeuvres one after another, consistently.

Sometimes, I was crowned amidst thundering sound of applause and at others leashed like a slave with some choicest abuses echoing in the air. It is only last week when for 3 days I could pause my life and stopped filling my overflowing platter of activities planned or unplanned. I could look back at like this diwali and finally put a finger on what was decreasing throughout the period of increased fame, power, capabilities, social network, collection of books, DVDs, clothes and friends.
It dawned on me this week that my exhaustion has reached its peak as I chose fear and insecurities to fuel my speed more than love and trust. The more I venture further towards my dreams in this manner, the more I will be uncomfortable. I know now that it isn’t only about reaching the destination fastest, it is about the quality. No matter how much I cherish the childlike wish of growing up as soon as I can and doing all that I want just today, it won’t be worth it. I have to make a choice. I have to let go of some dreams and chose the ones that give me a better journey – a more fulfilled life with chances to blog a few times every week. The one in which, when I decide to write a story, it would not be because a TV channel wants me to pitch for their next big show. It might be just because a story needs to be told. The one in which bank balance isn’t the only measure for success in life.

I am back today. I say that not because I have quit being in my job. I am a project leader now- a senior resource in a niche venture of a global giant. My income has nearly doubled on paper and so has my credit. Last year, I was in my late twenties trying to find a suitable master’s degree as my Post graduate diploma didn’t seem impressive enough to me. This year, I am nearer to thirties and find my patience with the wannabes missing when I enter a classroom now to teach as a guest faculty. My friends are matchmaking me to ugly guys who I dread to call but my faith remains that with a tiny fix in my head, I can surely reach my zenith of a happy, fulfilled life by changing gears and shifting lanes again. It’s only about keeping time, love and tenderness before everything.

My struggle continues but the realisation has seeped in. Recklessness has to be balanced with responsibility with a moment of care, of getting off the Ferris wheel of complications and taking refuge in a quiet dawn by the sea peering at the sun smiling on the faces of friends who were there by my side through this madness.