Tuesday, July 27, 2010

IT'S GOOD by Phillip Long


I have listened to a rushing stream until I could no longer hear its roar
I have watched as an eagle soared until it disappeared into the sky
I have walked in the rain until I did not feel wet and cold
I have endured solitude until I knew I was not alone
I have watched in the darkness until I could see
I have forgiven until I learned how to love
I have given until I had all that I need
I have hoped until I was satisfied
I have loved until I vanished
I have discovered my life
I know that I have
And it's good
It's good

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

What is Happiness?

What is the purpose of life? It is to become happy.

Whatever country or society people live in, they all have the same deep desire: to become happy.Yet, there are few ideals as difficult to grasp as that of happiness. In our daily life we constantly experience happiness and unhappiness, but we are still quite ignorant as to what happiness really is.

A young friend of mine once spent a long time trying to work out what happiness was, particularly happiness for women. When she first thought about happiness she saw it as a matter of becoming financially secure or getting married. (The view in Japanese society then was that happiness for a woman was only to be found in marriage.) But looking at friends who were married, she realized that marriage didn't necessarily guarantee happiness.

She saw couples who had been passionately in love suffering from discord soon after their wedding. She saw women who had married men with money or status but who fought constantly with their husbands.Gradually, she realized that the secret of happiness lay in building a strong inner self that no trial or hardship could ruin. She saw that happiness for anyone — man or woman — does not come simply from having a formal education, from wealth or from marriage. It begins with having the strength to confront and conquer one's own weaknesses. Only then does it become possible to lead a truly happy life and enjoy a successful marriage. She finally told me, "Now I can say with confidence that happiness doesn't exist in the past or in the future. It only exists within our state of life right now, here in the present, as we face the challenges of daily life."

I agree entirely. You yourself know best whether you are feeling joy or struggling with suffering. These things are not known to other people. Even a man who has great wealth, social recognition and many awards may still be shadowed by indescribable suffering deep in his heart. On the other hand, an elderly woman who is not fortunate financially, leading a simple life alone, may feel the sun of joy and happiness rising in her heart each day.

Happiness is not a life without problems, but rather the strength to overcome the problems that come our way. There is no such thing as a problem-free life; difficulties are unavoidable. But how we experience and react to our problems depends on us. Buddhism teaches that we are each responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness. Our vitality — the amount of energy or "life-force" we have — is in fact the single most important factor in determining whether or not we are happy.

True happiness is to be found within, in the state of our hearts. It does not exist on the far side of some distant mountains. It is within you, yourself. However much you try, you can never run away from yourself. And if you are weak, suffering will follow you wherever you go. You will never find happiness if you don't challenge your weaknesses and change yourself from within. 

Happiness is to be found in the dynamism and energy of your own life as you struggle to overcome one obstacle after another. This is why I believe that a person who is active and free from fear is truly happy. The challenges we face in life can be compared to a tall mountain, rising before a mountain climber. For someone who has not trained properly, whose muscles and reflexes are weak and slow, every inch of the climb will be filled with terror and pain. The exact same climb, however, will be a thrilling journey for someone who is prepared, whose legs and arms have been strengthened by constant training. With each step forward and up, beautiful new views will come into sight.

My teacher used to talk about two kinds of happiness — "relative" and "absolute" happiness. Relative happiness is happiness that depends on things outside ourselves: friends and family, surroundings, the size of our home or family income. 

This is what we feel when a desire is fulfilled, or something we have longed for is obtained. While the happiness such things bring us is certainly real, the fact is that none of this lasts forever. Things change. People change. This kind of happiness shatters easily when external conditions alter.Relative happiness is also based on comparison with others. We may feel this kind of happiness at having a newer or bigger home than the neighbors. But that feeling turns to misery the moment they start making new additions to theirs!

Absolute happiness, on the other hand, is something we must find within. It means establishing a state of life in which we are never defeated by trials and where just being alive is a source of great joy. This persists no matter what we might be lacking, or what might happen around us.

A deep sense of joy is something which can only exist in the innermost reaches of our life, and which cannot be destroyed by any external forces. It is eternal and inexhaustible.This kind of satisfaction is to be found in consistent and repeated effort, so that we can say, "Today, again, I did my very best. Today, again, I have no regrets. Today, again, I won." The accumulated result of such efforts is a life of great victory.

What we should compare is not ourselves against others. We should compare who we are today against who we were yesterday, who we are today against who we will be tomorrow. While this may seem simple and obvious, true happiness is found in a life of constant advancement. And the same worries that could have made us miserable can actually be a source of growth when we approach them with courage and wisdom.

One friend whose dramatic life proved this was Natalia SatzAfter she recovered from the initial shock, she started looking at her situation, not with despair, but for opportunity. She realized that many of her fellow prisoners had special skills and talents. She began organizing a "university," encouraging the prisoners to share their knowledge. "You. You are a scientist. Teach us about science. You are an artist. Talk to us about art." In this way, the boredom and terror of the prison camp were transformed into the joy of learning and teaching. 

Eventually, Mrs. Satz even made use of her own unique talents to organize a theater group. She survived the five-year prison sentence, and dedicated the rest of her long life to creating children's theater. When we met for the first time in Moscow in 1981, she was already in her 80s. She was as radiant and buoyant as a young girl. Her smile was the smile of someone who has triumphed over the hardships of life. Hers is the kind of spirit I had in mind when I wrote the following poem on "Happiness": 

A person with a vast heart is happy. 
Such a person lives each day with a broad and embracing spirit
.A person with a strong will is happy. 
Such a person can confidently enjoy life, never defeated by suffering.
A person with a profound spirit is happy.
Such a person can savor life's depths 
while creating meaning and value that will last for eternity.
A person with a pure mind is happy.
Such a person is always surrounded by refreshing breezes of joy.

This short essay is adapted from..http://www.ikedaquotes.org/contents/short_essays/happiness.html

Thursday, June 03, 2010

low life's love

I do not like my state of mind
I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.
I hate my legs, I hate my hands,
I do not yearn for lovelier lands.
I dread the dawn's recurrent light;
I hate to go to bed at night.
I snoot at simple, earnest folk.
I cannot take the gentlest joke.
I find no peace in paint or type.
My world is but a lot of tripe.
I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted.
For what I think, I'd be arrested.
I am not sick, I am not well.
My quondam dreams are shot to hell.
My soul is crushed, my spirit sore;
I do not like me any more.
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.
I ponder on the narrow house.
I shudder at the thought of men...
I'm due to fall in love again." 


Sunday, May 02, 2010

The game is set

Its one of those times, when puzzled by questions that attack me from within every second, I get up to seek answers. The catalyst this time was a conversation with a dear one, a song and sheer overwhelming realisation of the fact that I am turning 30 sooner than I imagined.

Mixed feelings of these incoherent facts and on goings of my random life bring me back to faith again like many times. As a believer, I bring my woes many times into prayers just like I thank every time I can sense the support of divine and today again it makes me realise I need to gear up and take charge.

Cribbing and whining are not the best solutions and for a person like me surely living for long in self pity is hellish. The journey in dark has ended, the way forward for me is lit though i will need to give it my all, am glad I can see  the path.

I thrive on few things like richness of language, music and philosophy - these in some way help me take the next big step or enjoy the motion. I was working overnight today much against my health and will and this song from Natrang (Marathi movie) called Khel Mandala (literally meaning The game is set) struck a chord quite deep in my heart and soul. It is a pink indian curry much like my other blogs as the flavour is maharastrian but the meaning is universal... thus the translation hope you all enjoy

Khel Mandala



Tujhya paayarishi kuni saan thor nhai
Saad sunya kaaljachi tujhya kaani jaai
All are equal at your doorstep...
Only you can listen to the elegy of a lonely heart

Hey.. Tari deva sara na yo bhog kasha pai
Haravali waat disha andharalya dhaai
Then why doesn't the suffering end, my Lord?
The path is lost, darkness engulfs all directions..

Bavaaloon udhalato jeev maaya baapaa
Vanvaayo oori petla...
Fear grips and ravages me, O father…
There is a forest-fire raging in my heart

Khel Mandala, Khel Mandala…
khel mandala, Deva… Khel Mandala!
The game is set, O Lord, the game is set...

Sandaliga reet waaj ghetla vasa tujha
Tuch vaat dakhiv ga khel mandala
Daavi deva pail paar paathishi tu raha ubha
Yo tujhyach umbaryat khel mandala
We have forsaken all traditions and took your oath
You have to show us the way, for the game is now set..
Stand by us in all circumstances, O God...
For we have set the game in your courtyard...



Hey… Usavala ganagot saara, Aadhar kunacha nhai
Bhegaalalya bhooi pari jeena angaar jeevala jaali
The fabric of my life is all unwoven, there is no one I can rely on...
Flaming hot coals burn my body, as if the sun scalds the barren cracked earth

Bala de zhunjaayala kirpechi dhaal de
Inaveeti pancha praan, jeevarhat taal de
Give me the strength to fight, and the shield of compassion…
I ask for mercy, please give me the rhythm of your soul

Karapala raan deva, Jalala shivaar
tari nhai dheer sandala... Khel mandala...
The forest has burnt to ashes, and the temple is ablaze...
Even then I haven't lost hope, my Lord, for the game is set...


Music: Ajay-Atul

Lyrics: Guru Thakur

Translation: Sidharth Wagh


Sunday, March 21, 2010

khwahish

ke hothon se lagke dhuaan hum bhi ho jaayein

teri tishnagi se ek din yun sulag jaayein

rahe bas raakh baaki  har baar teri chhuan ke baad

zindagi yunhi teri talab ban hum bitaayein

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

My name is change

You can call this a review of My Name is Khan for a lack of any better term but it remains my creative self expression (CSE). This term defines the movie My name is Khan for me.

It is creative self expression of a filmmaker who is growing beautifully into someone who thinks, loves and understands Cinema and its dynamics - Karan Johar. It is CSE of an actor who is making choices now that form and expand his legacy of being the most loved star of India today – SRK. It is CSE of an actress so brilliant that her mere presence on screen is more precious than the enormous fees that some queens of Bollywood rake up annually - Kajol.

Not that they are not flawed in this film, it is human and they have erred at places. Karan Johar loses the grip at times with not so crisp editing, some camera angles and usage of music affects the story movement – the whole hurricane incident looks forcefit to take Khan to the President and end the film. The setup in america alienates the film to Indian audience to quite a degree. Shahrukh’s performance is brilliant but the character’s disability is not practically etched. Kajol is sunshine on screen but her character again shows no insight into how and why she bonds with this different man. Now that the nitpicking is done, let’s get back to the good part.

My name is Khan is not KKHH, K3G or KANK, neither does it want to be nor does the audience today want it that way. The world is fast changing and truth of today needs to be brought to the big silver screen. This movie attempts to do so more than any RGV flick being dished out in the name of real cinema.

All said and done, My name is Khan is CSE of the change that we all are facing today and our beliefs through a medium we all connect to – a film. I saw My name is Khan with a kashmiri muslim single woman who i call baji (elder sister in Urdu). It was two of us with little to do on Saturday without our usual bunch of friends and party hopping drive. We entered the theatre on second weekend not because of the controversy or being an ardent fan of cast & crew mentioned above. It was because we both wanted to see what Indian cinema is dishing out today.

We saw Rizwan, smiled through his journey from Mumbai to America. His world was different to say the least. His world reflected our core beliefs in goodness of all humanity- something we expect out of an Iranian or European cinema – not Indian of course. He coped with his fears much like all of us once we leave homes and face the world – something we see in American and british entertainment dished to us through satellite invasion. His hopes were shattered due to a bigger event (death of Kajol’s son) so much like our lives which go through constant upheavals due to bigger changes (every family has had a death that changed lives connected with the deceased). Rizwan didn’t choose to yet move ahead in life and pretend that no change affects him. He dealt with the changes and explored his connection as a change maker upholding his belief through every situation.

We had both seen forrest gump enough number of times but this wasn’t him. It was Rizwan Khan clearly – his identity echoing every Indian muslim who ventures out hoping to camouflage his difference due to misnomers of the masses hungry to brand them violent, regressive etc.

When we left the auditorium, we could reflect on the issue rather than talk about the scenes, length of the movie, acting, cinematography or xyz that we would normally discuss. It was back to our lives where her identity as follower of Islam and all its rights were never questioned as much as my being a hindu (Nicherin Buddhist practitioner) and wrongs of Shivsena. We could see and agree that it has been a norm to see muslims in a wrong light more easily for quite a while now in our daily lives too. There is a certain hitch that a hindu landlord in Mumbai feels while renting his apartment to a Muslim family.

I remembered the times she has told us about the peace loving aspect of Islam along with Zakaat and other heartening aspects being misinterpreted. I remembered her anger every time some discrimination happened to the good stick figures with candy because of evil stick figures with canes. The movie was over and we had changed. We were conscious of our identities – good people who must convey it to others in no uncertain terms that we choose to be good. Our way forward was clear too - to be with good throughout life.

The movie might be considered good, bad or ugly – a blockbuster or just a marketing case study, it gave me just one heartening thought thanks to Karan Johar & Shahrukh. Our names might be Samina, Praful, Savio or Surjit – we are all khans. We all have to be the change we want to see outside in the world

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Time stands still - my first haiku


I am in a moment that stays frozen
There's no motion, no action
only lack of it, fills the horizon

It peers at me and look back at it in awe
as if trying to acquaint with each other

dahshat aur ibaadat - my dedication as a witness to 26/11

Jisse kar chukka tha main dafn
Kyun wo phir se zinda ho chala
Ho gayi thi jis dard ki saansein khatm
Kyun laut aaya hai phir woh gila

Hai shikan peshaani pe daag ki tarah ab jadi si
Yeh aah hai shayad meri rooh ki jo arsse se thi gadi si

Koi cheelta ho jaise zakhmon ki paratein
Yaad karne pe us qahar ka ahsaas yun bhi hota hai
Kahin dah gaya qaba jaise ruk gayi ibadatein
Baad marne ke kya zahar ka ahsas yun bhi hota hai?

firaaq –e-aman mein chain kahaan Qaatil ko
Dozaqh nahin use bas talaash hi haasil hai
khoon-e-maasoom se sane haath dua mein uth jaaye to
woh qayamat kya kisi deen ki manzil hai?

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear- how do you measure a year?


This is the song that my soul sings today at crossroads of old and new. I am still the same old and new alike but life is changing. It is not just a digit that changes every year, it is more. I look back at last year, its days and nights. The people that 2009 brought into my life and the ones it took away. I am numb right now, cos i cannot unleash it all, i am scared of the aftermath of emotional tsunami rather tidal wave of thoughts.

I began in on auto mode, went on to learn my lessons in professional life and began questioning everything. I asked this year about my decisions, my purpose, my potential, my limitations, my dear ones and the ones i stay away from. I asked this year at every step and moved ahead as myself - praful. Not a friend who does what others want him to do, Not a son who abides by the rules, Not an employee who fills in the hours and delivers whats expected. I dreamt,I learnt, I became myself again. Yes, I failed more than before and that got me so close to truth of life and that made my struggles fiercer, victories more joyful and perched my thirst of existence with ambrosia of purpose and faith. Its my vision, my feelings, my understanding of people's joys, sorrows, habits and desires that makes 2009 for me. 4 digits that encompass a plethora of milestones for me, for those who are mine and for humankind. It never was before and never will be again- a year, the moments, the tapestry of miracles clustered into days, months and lives.

2009 will be etched in my heart as a beautiful symphony not bittersweet but just blissful as it is. A melody playing against the backdrop of a breakup, unemployment, realisations of how I can be a better brother, nostalgia of all the spellbinding movies, books and stories. 2009 will never be anything else and makes the perfect predecessor for all that 2010 stands for. I am ready for newer ecstasies and agonies. I stand pondering at the possibilities and my plans. A song plays on my mind thats wise, nice and sums it all better than I ever could. let me know how you like it . Happy 2010, may you be loved, successful, happy, peaceful and wise. May you conquer your own inner world and emerge vistorious in every struggle, stronger and more determined to live the essence of life - love.


From OST of the movie "The Rent"

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure
the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

It’s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember the love! Remember the love! Remember the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love

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