Showing posts with label india. Show all posts
Showing posts with label india. Show all posts

Friday, February 24, 2012

Section 377 - the law that overshadowed my life (part 1)

It has taken me about a decade to understand it and to learn to live with it. The perennial shadow of being a criminal in my own country for something I might not have acted upon. I am talking about homosexuality or my sexual identity here. Indian Penal Code Section 377 invokes in me a thousand varied emotions and my views may not be significant as I am an average citizen by all norms and not a politician, film star or cricketer (the kinds who matter in our country).

What is important yet is the number of people who are affected by it knowingly or unknowingly. Also the manner in which an issue so intrinsic to human rights in our democratic society is being approached.

The matter being subjudice, it is not for me to share opinion on the proceedings being right or wrong. I wont go there. I would just share my personal experience in what follows

Ignorance, not really a blissful state

I heard of criminalisation and 10 years  imprisonment that Section 377 poses as a threat to each LGBTI (lesbians, gays, bisexual,transgendered and intersexed) individual at the age of 22. I was fresh out of college and just a year before that beginning to acknowledge my attraction towards guys. It is not as though 7 years into puberty I hadnt had those thoughts but I had kept them locked in corners of my head as something I cant understand and dont need to address ever as I had a girl friend who was in love with me and career ahead along with friends and family to fill my mindspace.

At 17, when i started working alongside college, I had my share of chat room explorations where m2m was a term used for male 2 male chat.  These were the emerging virtual meetup places where faceless people with fake names would talk about homosexuality. This was right at the advent of mobile phones and media boom, when i spoke to the first self confessed gay man, someone who wanted to meet me but I could never gather courage to meet. It was only after I came across an American boy online that we shared our hopes, dreams, wishes to share  life together that I even allowed my thoughts to venture into what two men can do in bed together.

He was to visit me in mumbai after 10 months of daily chats, exchange of phone numbers - which was a big deal in 1998  that I progressed to making 1000 plans of me settling with a doctor in some remote country where homosexuality was not a crime. It was a happy time of my life as i wasn't repressing my mind after almost 8 years. I wasn't pleasing friends or family by being with  a girl friend. I was free in my heart of my past and I could finally think of my present or future.

We had plans to travel across India together and i looked forward to the wierd waking hours when he would come online and we could chat or exchange emails. All of it came to a screeching halt when he expired due to wrong treatment of his non malignant tumour which got ruptured. All the hope that had seeped into my life just vanished into a dark pit.

In next month I moved out of home to live on my own, stopped crying, being angry or even looking for  any other men or considering the option of going back to my girl friend.  I had lost the most precious gift - the person who had accepted me without judging. I gathered courage to look up and contact Gay bombay (GB)  -a local support organisation and finally attend one of their meetings.

When i was expecting seedy men from chat room waiting to find new sexual partners, all i found at Gb were educated men, all with respected professions, a comfortable circle of friends and family. No one and nothing abnormal that I could label. Soon with few interactions, my ignorance about  the community was a thing of past. I came to know here of blackmail rings being operated by Police and hustlers to catch gay men, threaten them to be outted to family & friends thanks to Section 377. Illegal it said were my emotions for don, who was no longer around. Illegal it said was my desire to know myself or to express myself sexually. Illegal Identity said 377 to my new found view of myself. Why should i be ashamed of my life? I couldnt understand.

 Ever since, not a day has passed in this city, whether in love or not, whether employed or not, whether awake or asleep that I have been free of this word, this phrase, this curse. Like a Nazi camp prisoner's identity, these 3 digits have been etched on me by those who are mighty, in power and see all of my kinds as. Its been 9 years and the shadow still looms threatening to consume my entity. The shadow called  377

(to be continued)

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny
/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

Friday, June 05, 2009

Light beckons with Obama's speech at cairo

Life is about peace... and happiness is the quest for all of us.... Obama's Speech at Cairo according to me is sign of better times ahead, its marked with wisdom, courage and determination... its long but surely worth it ... cos we can all learn, we can all know and we can all realise how connected we all are as beings of this planet... here goes

US President Barrack Obama's Speech at Cairo on 4th June 2009

I am honored to be in the timeless city of Cairo, and to be hosted by two remarkable institutions. For over a thousand years, Al-Azhar has stood as a beacon of Islamic learning, and for over a century, Cairo University has been a source of Egypt's advancement. Together, you represent the harmony between tradition and progress. I am grateful for your hospitality, and the hospitality of the people of Egypt. I am also proud to carry with me the goodwill of the American people, and a greeting of peace from Muslim communities in my country: assalaamu alaykum.

We meet at a time of tension between the United States and Muslims around the world - tension rooted in historical forces that go beyond any current policy debate. The relationship between Islam and the West includes centuries of co-existence and cooperation, but also conflict and religious wars. More recently, tension has been fed by colonialism that denied rights and opportunities to many Muslims, and a Cold War in which Muslim-majority countries were too often treated as proxies without regard to their own aspirations. Moreover, the sweeping change brought by modernity and globalization led many Muslims to view the West as hostile to the traditions of Islam.

Violent extremists have exploited these tensions in a small but potent minority of Muslims. The attacks of September 11th, 2001 and the continued efforts of these extremists to engage in violence against civilians has led some in my country to view Islam as inevitably hostile not only to America and Western countries, but also to human rights. This has bred more fear and mistrust.

So long as our relationship is defined by our differences, we will empower those who sow hatred rather than peace, and who promote conflict rather than the cooperation that can help all of our people achieve justice and prosperity. This cycle of suspicion and discord must end.

I have come here to seek a new beginning between the United States and Muslims around the world; one based upon mutual interest and mutual respect; and one based upon the truth that America and Islam are not exclusive, and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles - principles of justice and progress; tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.

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I do so recognizing that change cannot happen overnight. No single speech can eradicate years of mistrust, nor can I answer in the time that I have all the complex questions that brought us to this point. But I am convinced that in order to move forward, we must say openly the things we hold in our hearts, and that too often are said only behind closed doors. There must be a sustained effort to listen to each other; to learn from each other; to respect one another; and to seek common ground. As the Holy Koran tells us, "Be conscious of God and speak always the truth." That is what I will try to do - to speak the truth as best I can, humbled by the task before us, and firm in my belief that the interests we share as human beings are far more powerful than the forces that drive us apart.

Part of this conviction is rooted in my own experience. I am a Christian, but my father came from a Kenyan family that includes generations of Muslims. As a boy, I spent several years in Indonesia and heard the call of the azaan at the break of dawn and the fall of dusk. As a young man, I worked in Chicago communities where many found dignity and peace in their Muslim faith. As a student of history, I also know civilization's debt to Islam. It was Islam - at places like Al-Azhar University - that carried the light of learning through so many centuries, paving the way for Europe's Renaissance and Enlightenment. It was innovation in Muslim communities that developed the order of algebra; our magnetic compass and tools of navigation; our mastery of pens and printing; our understanding of how disease spreads and how it can be healed. Islamic culture has given us majestic arches and soaring spires; timeless poetry and cherished music; elegant calligraphy and places of peaceful contemplation. And throughout history, Islam has demonstrated through words and deeds the possibilities of religious tolerance and racial equality.

I know, too, that Islam has always been a part of America's story. The first nation to recognize my country was Morocco. In signing the Treaty of Tripoli in 1796, our second President John Adams wrote, "The United States has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Muslims." And since our founding, American Muslims have enriched the United States. They have fought in our wars, served in government, stood for civil rights, started businesses, taught at our Universities, excelled in our sports arenas, won Nobel Prizes, built our tallest building, and lit the Olympic Torch. And when the first Muslim-American was recently elected to Congress, he took the oath to defend our Constitution using the same Holy Koran that one of our Founding Fathers - Thomas Jefferson - kept in his personal library.

So I have known Islam on three continents before coming to the region where it was first revealed. That experience guides my conviction that partnership between America and Islam must be based on what Islam is, not what it isn't. And I consider it part of my responsibility as President of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.

But that same principle must apply to Muslim perceptions of America. Just as Muslims do not fit a crude stereotype, America is not the crude stereotype of a self-interested empire. The United States has been one of the greatest sources of progress that the world has ever known. We were born out of revolution against an empire. We were founded upon the ideal that all are created equal, and we have shed blood and struggled for centuries to give meaning to those words - within our borders, and around the world. We are shaped by every culture, drawn from every end of the Earth, and dedicated to a simple concept: E pluribus unum: "Out of many, one."

Much has been made of the fact that an African-American with the name Barack Hussein Obama could be elected President. But my personal story is not so unique. The dream of opportunity for all people has not come true for everyone in America, but its promise exists for all who come to our shores - that includes nearly seven million American Muslims in our country today who enjoy incomes and education that are higher than average.

Moreover, freedom in America is indivisible from the freedom to practice one's religion. That is why there is a mosque in every state of our union, and over 1,200 mosques within our borders. That is why the U.S. government has gone to court to protect the right of women and girls to wear the hijab, and to punish those who would deny it.

So let there be no doubt: Islam is a part of America. And I believe that America holds within her the truth that regardless of race, religion, or station in life, all of us share common aspirations - to live in peace and security; to get an education and to work with dignity; to love our families, our communities, and our God. These things we share. This is the hope of all humanity.

Of course, recognizing our common humanity is only the beginning of our task. Words alone cannot meet the needs of our people. These needs will be met only if we act boldly in the years ahead; and if we understand that the challenges we face are shared, and our failure to meet them will hurt us all.

For we have learned from recent experience that when a financial system weakens in one country, prosperity is hurt everywhere. When a new flu infects one human being, all are at risk. When one nation pursues a nuclear weapon, the risk of nuclear attack rises for all nations. When violent extremists operate in one stretch of mountains, people are endangered across an ocean. And when innocents in Bosnia and Darfur are slaughtered, that is a stain on our collective conscience. That is what it means to share this world in the 21st century. That is the responsibility we have to one another as human beings.

This is a difficult responsibility to embrace. For human history has often been a record of nations and tribes subjugating one another to serve their own interests. Yet in this new age, such attitudes are self-defeating. Given our interdependence, any world order that elevates one nation or group of people over another will inevitably fail. So whatever we think of the past, we must not be prisoners of it. Our problems must be dealt with through partnership; progress must be shared.

That does not mean we should ignore sources of tension. Indeed, it suggests the opposite: we must face these tensions squarely. And so in that spirit, let me speak as clearly and plainly as I can about some specific issues that I believe we must finally confront together.

The first issue that we have to confront is violent extremism in all of its forms.

In Ankara, I made clear that America is not - and never will be - at war with Islam. We will, however, relentlessly confront violent extremists who pose a grave threat to our security. Because we reject the same thing that people of all faiths reject: the killing of innocent men, women, and children. And it is my first duty as President to protect the American people.

The situation in Afghanistan demonstrates America's goals, and our need to work together. Over seven years ago, the United States pursued al Qaeda and the Taliban with broad international support. We did not go by choice, we went because of necessity. I am aware that some question or justify the events of 9/11. But let us be clear: al Qaeda killed nearly 3,000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet Al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people, claimed credit for the attack, and even now states their determination to kill on a massive scale. They have affiliates in many countries and are trying to expand their reach. These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.

Make no mistake: we do not want to keep our troops in Afghanistan. We seek no military bases there. It is agonizing for America to lose our young men and women. It is costly and politically difficult to continue this conflict. We would gladly bring every single one of our troops home if we could be confident that there were not violent extremists in Afghanistan and Pakistan determined to kill as many Americans as they possibly can. But that is not yet the case.

That's why we're partnering with a coalition of forty-six countries. And despite the costs involved, America's commitment will not weaken. Indeed, none of us should tolerate these extremists. They have killed in many countries. They have killed people of different faiths - more than any other, they have killed Muslims. Their actions are irreconcilable with the rights of human beings, the progress of nations, and with Islam. The Holy Koran teaches that whoever kills an innocent, it is as if he has killed all mankind; and whoever saves a person, it is as if he has saved all mankind. The enduring faith of over a billion people is so much bigger than the narrow hatred of a few. Islam is not part of the problem in combating violent extremism - it is an important part of promoting peace.

We also know that military power alone is not going to solve the problems in Afghanistan and Pakistan. That is why we plan to invest $1.5 billion each year over the next five years to partner with Pakistanis to build schools and hospitals, roads and businesses, and hundreds of millions to help those who have been displaced. And that is why we are providing more than $2.8 billion to help Afghans develop their economy and deliver services that people depend upon.

Let me also address the issue of Iraq. Unlike Afghanistan, Iraq was a war of choice that provoked strong differences in my country and around the world. Although I believe that the Iraqi people are ultimately better off without the tyranny of Saddam Hussein, I also believe that events in Iraq have reminded America of the need to use diplomacy and build international consensus to resolve our problems whenever possible. Indeed, we can recall the words of Thomas Jefferson, who said: "I hope that our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us that the less we use our power the greater it will be."

Today, America has a dual responsibility: to help Iraq forge a better future - and to leave Iraq to Iraqis. I have made it clear to the Iraqi people that we pursue no bases, and no claim on their territory or resources. Iraq's sovereignty is its own. That is why I ordered the removal of our combat brigades by next August. That is why we will honor our agreement with Iraq's democratically-elected government to remove combat troops from Iraqi cities by July, and to remove all our troops from Iraq by 2012. We will help Iraq train its Security Forces and develop its economy. But we will support a secure and united Iraq as a partner, and never as a patron. And finally, just as America can never tolerate violence by extremists, we must never alter our principles. 9/11 was an enormous trauma to our country. The fear and anger that it provoked was understandable, but in some cases, it led us to act contrary to our ideals. We are taking concrete actions to change course. I have unequivocally prohibited the use of torture by the United States, and I have ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed by early next year.

So America will defend itself respectful of the sovereignty of nations and the rule of law. And we will do so in partnership with Muslim communities which are also threatened. The sooner the extremists are isolated and unwelcome in Muslim communities, the sooner we will all be safer.

The second major source of tension that we need to discuss is the situation between Israelis, Palestinians and the Arab world.

America's strong bonds with Israel are well known. This bond is unbreakable. It is based upon cultural and historical ties, and the recognition that the aspiration for a Jewish homeland is rooted in a tragic history that cannot be denied.

Around the world, the Jewish people were persecuted for centuries, and anti-Semitism in Europe culminated in an unprecedented Holocaust. Tomorrow, I will visit Buchenwald, which was part of a network of camps where Jews were enslaved, tortured, shot and gassed to death by the Third Reich. Six million Jews were killed - more than the entire Jewish population of Israel today. Denying that fact is baseless, ignorant, and hateful. Threatening Israel with destruction - or repeating vile stereotypes about Jews - is deeply wrong, and only serves to evoke in the minds of Israelis this most painful of memories while preventing the peace that the people of this region deserve.

On the other hand, it is also undeniable that the Palestinian people - Muslims and Christians - have suffered in pursuit of a homeland. For more than sixty years they have endured the pain of dislocation. Many wait in refugee camps in the West Bank, Gaza, and neighboring lands for a life of peace and security that they have never been able to lead. They endure the daily humiliations - large and small - that come with occupation. So let there be no doubt: the situation for the Palestinian people is intolerable. America will not turn our backs on the legitimate Palestinian aspiration for dignity, opportunity, and a state of their own.

For decades, there has been a stalemate: two peoples with legitimate aspirations, each with a painful history that makes compromise elusive. It is easy to point fingers - for Palestinians to point to the displacement brought by Israel's founding, and for Israelis to point to the constant hostility and attacks throughout its history from within its borders as well as beyond. But if we see this conflict only from one side or the other, then we will be blind to the truth: the only resolution is for the aspirations of both sides to be met through two states, where Israelis and Palestinians each live in peace and security.

That is in Israel's interest, Palestine's interest, America's interest, and the world's interest. That is why I intend to personally pursue this outcome with all the patience that the task requires. The obligations that the parties have agreed to under the Road Map are clear. For peace to come, it is time for them - and all of us - to live up to our responsibilities.

Palestinians must abandon violence. Resistance through violence and killing is wrong and does not succeed. For centuries, black people in America suffered the lash of the whip as slaves and the humiliation of segregation. But it was not violence that won full and equal rights. It was a peaceful and determined insistence upon the ideals at the center of America's founding. This same story can be told by people from South Africa to South Asia; from Eastern Europe to Indonesia. It's a story with a simple truth: that violence is a dead end. It is a sign of neither courage nor power to shoot rockets at sleeping children, or to blow up old women on a bus. That is not how moral authority is claimed; that is how it is surrendered.

Now is the time for Palestinians to focus on what they can build. The Palestinian Authority must develop its capacity to govern, with institutions that serve the needs of its people. Hamas does have support among some Palestinians, but they also have responsibilities. To play a role in fulfilling Palestinian aspirations, and to unify the Palestinian people, Hamas must put an end to violence, recognize past agreements, and recognize Israel's right to exist.

At the same time, Israelis must acknowledge that just as Israel's right to exist cannot be denied, neither can Palestine's. The United States does not accept the legitimacy of continued Israeli settlements. This construction violates previous agreements and undermines efforts to achieve peace. It is time for these settlements to stop.

Israel must also live up to its obligations to ensure that Palestinians can live, and work, and develop their society. And just as it devastates Palestinian families, the continuing humanitarian crisis in Gaza does not serve Israel's security; neither does the continuing lack of opportunity in the West Bank. Progress in the daily lives of the Palestinian people must be part of a road to peace, and Israel must take concrete steps to enable such progress.

Finally, the Arab States must recognize that the Arab Peace Initiative was an important beginning, but not the end of their responsibilities. The Arab-Israeli conflict should no longer be used to distract the people of Arab nations from other problems. Instead, it must be a cause for action to help the Palestinian people develop the institutions that will sustain their state; to recognize Israel's legitimacy; and to choose progress over a self-defeating focus on the past.

America will align our policies with those who pursue peace, and say in public what we say in private to Israelis and Palestinians and Arabs. We cannot impose peace. But privately, many Muslims recognize that Israel will not go away. Likewise, many Israelis recognize the need for a Palestinian state. It is time for us to act on what everyone knows to be true. Too many tears have flowed. Too much blood has been shed. All of us have a responsibility to work for the day when the mothers of Israelis and Palestinians can see their children grow up without fear; when the Holy Land of three great faiths is the place of peace that God intended it to be; when Jerusalem is a secure and lasting home for Jews and Christians and Muslims, and a place for all of the children of Abraham to mingle peacefully together as in the story of Isra, when Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed (peace be upon them) joined in prayer.

The third source of tension is our shared interest in the rights and responsibilities of nations on nuclear weapons.

This issue has been a source of tension between the United States and the Islamic Republic of Iran. For many years, Iran has defined itself in part by its opposition to my country, and there is indeed a tumultuous history between us. In the middle of the Cold War, the United States played a role in the overthrow of a democratically- elected Iranian government. Since the Islamic Revolution, Iran has played a role in acts of hostage-taking and violence against U.S. troops and civilians. This history is well known. Rather than remain trapped in the past, I have made it clear to Iran's leaders and people that my country is prepared to move forward. The question, now, is not what Iran is against, but rather what future it wants to build.

It will be hard to overcome decades of mistrust, but we will proceed with courage, rectitude and resolve. There will be many issues to discuss between our two countries, and we are willing to move forward without preconditions on the basis of mutual respect. But it is clear to all concerned that when it comes to nuclear weapons, we have reached a decisive point. This is not simply about America's interests. It is about preventing a nuclear arms race in the Middle East that could lead this region and the world down a hugely dangerous path.

I understand those who protest that some countries have weapons that others do not. No single nation should pick and choose which nations hold nuclear weapons. That is why I strongly reaffirmed America's commitment to seek a world in which no nations hold nuclear weapons. And any nation - including Iran - should have the right to access peaceful nuclear power if it complies with its responsibilities under the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. That commitment is at the core of the Treaty, and it must be kept for all who fully abide by it. And I am hopeful that all countries in the region can share in this goal.

The fourth issue that I will address is democracy.

I know there has been controversy about the promotion of democracy in recent years, and much of this controversy is connected to the war in Iraq. So let me be clear: no system of government can or should be imposed upon one nation by any other.

That does not lessen my commitment, however, to governments that reflect the will of the people. Each nation gives life to this principle in its own way, grounded in the traditions of its own people. America does not presume to know what is best for everyone, just as we would not presume to pick the outcome of a peaceful election. But I do have an unyielding belief that all people yearn for certain things: the ability to speak your mind and have a say in how you are governed; confidence in the rule of law and the equal administration of justice; government that is transparent and doesn't steal from the people; the freedom to live as you choose. Those are not just American ideas, they are human rights, and that is why we will support them everywhere.

There is no straight line to realize this promise. But this much is clear: governments that protect these rights are ultimately more stable, successful and secure. Suppressing ideas never succeeds in making them go away. America respects the right of all peaceful and law-abiding voices to be heard around the world, even if we disagree with them. And we will welcome all elected, peaceful governments - provided they govern with respect for all their people.

This last point is important because there are some who advocate for democracy only when they are out of power; once in power, they are ruthless in suppressing the rights of others. No matter where it takes hold, government of the people and by the people sets a single standard for all who hold power: you must maintain your power through consent, not coercion; you must respect the rights of minorities, and participate with a spirit of tolerance and compromise; you must place the interests of your people and the legitimate workings of the political process above your party. Without these ingredients, elections alone do not make true democracy.

The fifth issue that we must address together is religious freedom.

Islam has a proud tradition of tolerance. We see it in the history of Andalusia and Cordoba during the Inquisition. I saw it firsthand as a child in Indonesia, where devout Christians worshiped freely in an overwhelmingly Muslim country. That is the spirit we need today. People in every country should be free to choose and live their faith based upon the persuasion of the mind, heart, and soul. This tolerance is essential for religion to thrive, but it is being challenged in many different ways.

Among some Muslims, there is a disturbing tendency to measure one's own faith by the rejection of another's. The richness of religious diversity must be upheld - whether it is for Maronites in Lebanon or the Copts in Egypt. And fault lines must be closed among Muslims as well, as the divisions between Sunni and Shia have led to tragic violence, particularly in Iraq.

Freedom of religion is central to the ability of peoples to live together. We must always examine the ways in which we protect it. For instance, in the United States, rules on charitable giving have made it harder for Muslims to fulfill their religious obligation. That is why I am committed to working with American Muslims to ensure that they can fulfill zakat.

Likewise, it is important for Western countries to avoid impeding Muslim citizens from practicing religion as they see fit - for instance, by dictating what clothes a Muslim woman should wear. We cannot disguise hostility towards any religion behind the pretence of liberalism.

Indeed, faith should bring us together. That is why we are forging service projects in America that bring together Christians, Muslims, and Jews. That is why we welcome efforts like Saudi Arabian King Abdullah's Interfaith dialogue and Turkey's leadership in the Alliance of Civilizations. Around the world, we can turn dialogue into Interfaith service, so bridges between peoples lead to action - whether it is combating malaria in Africa, or providing relief after a natural disaster.

The sixth issue that I want to address is women's rights.

I know there is debate about this issue. I reject the view of some in the West that a woman who chooses to cover her hair is somehow less equal, but I do believe that a woman who is denied an education is denied equality. And it is no coincidence that countries where women are well-educated are far more likely to be prosperous.

Now let me be clear: issues of women's equality are by no means simply an issue for Islam. In Turkey, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Indonesia, we have seen Muslim-majority countries elect a woman to lead. Meanwhile, the struggle for women's equality continues in many aspects of American life, and in countries around the world.

Our daughters can contribute just as much to society as our sons, and our common prosperity will be advanced by allowing all humanity - men and women - to reach their full potential. I do not believe that women must make the same choices as men in order to be equal, and I respect those women who choose to live their lives in traditional roles. But it should be their choice. That is why the United States will partner with any Muslim-majority country to support expanded literacy for girls, and to help young women pursue employment through micro-financing that helps people live their dreams.

Finally, I want to discuss economic development and opportunity.

I know that for many, the face of globalization is contradictory. The Internet and television can bring knowledge and information, but also offensive sexuality and mindless violence. Trade can bring new wealth and opportunities, but also huge disruptions and changing communities. In all nations - including my own - this change can bring fear. Fear that because of modernity we will lose of control over our economic choices, our politics, and most importantly our identities - those things we most cherish about our communities, our families, our traditions, and our faith.

But I also know that human progress cannot be denied. There need not be contradiction between development and tradition. Countries like Japan and South Korea grew their economies while maintaining distinct cultures. The same is true for the astonishing progress within Muslim-majority countries from Kuala Lumpur to Dubai. In ancient times and in our times, Muslim communities have been at the forefront of innovation and education.

This is important because no development strategy can be based only upon what comes out of the ground, nor can it be sustained while young people are out of work. Many Gulf States have enjoyed great wealth as a consequence of oil, and some are beginning to focus it on broader development. But all of us must recognize that education and innovation will be the currency of the 21st century, and in too many Muslim communities there remains underinvestment in these areas. I am emphasizing such investments within my country. And while America in the past has focused on oil and gas in this part of the world, we now seek a broader engagement.

On education, we will expand exchange programs, and increase scholarships, like the one that brought my father to America, while encouraging more Americans to study in Muslim communities. And we will match promising Muslim students with internships in America; invest in on-line learning for teachers and children around the world; and create a new online network, so a teenager in Kansas can communicate instantly with a teenager in Cairo.

On economic development, we will create a new corps of business volunteers to partner with counterparts in Muslim-majority countries. And I will host a Summit on Entrepreneurship this year to identify how we can deepen ties between business leaders, foundations and social entrepreneurs in the United States and Muslim communities around the world.

On science and technology, we will launch a new fund to support technological development in Muslim-majority countries, and to help transfer ideas to the marketplace so they can create jobs. We will open centers of scientific excellence in Africa, the Middle East and Southeast Asia, and appoint new Science Envoys to collaborate on programs that develop new sources of energy, create green jobs, digitize records, clean water, and grow new crops. And today I am announcing a new global effort with the Organization of the Islamic Conference to eradicate polio. And we will also expand partnerships with Muslim communities to promote child and maternal health.

All these things must be done in partnership. Americans are ready to join with citizens and governments; community organizations, religious leaders, and businesses in Muslim communities around the world to help our people pursue a better life.

The issues that I have described will not be easy to address. But we have a responsibility to join together on behalf of the world we seek - a world where extremists no longer threaten our people, and American troops have come home; a world where Israelis and Palestinians are each secure in a state of their own, and nuclear energy is used for peaceful purposes; a world where governments serve their citizens, and the rights of all God's children are respected. Those are mutual interests. That is the world we seek. But we can only achieve it together.

I know there are many - Muslim and non-Muslim - who question whether we can forge this new beginning. Some are eager to stoke the flames of division, and to stand in the way of progress. Some suggest that it isn't worth the effort - that we are fated to disagree, and civilizations are doomed to clash. Many more are simply skeptical that real change can occur. There is so much fear, so much mistrust. But if we choose to be bound by the past, we will never move forward. And I want to particularly say this to young people of every faith, in every country - you, more than anyone, have the ability to remake this world.

All of us share this world for but a brief moment in time. The question is whether we spend that time focused on what pushes us apart, or whether we commit ourselves to an effort - a sustained effort - to find common ground, to focus on the future we seek for our children, and to respect the dignity of all human beings.

It is easier to start wars than to end them. It is easier to blame others than to look inward; to see what is different about someone than to find the things we share. But we should choose the right path, not just the easy path. There is also one rule that lies at the heart of every religion - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. This truth transcends nations and peoples - a belief that isn't new; that isn't black or white or brown; that isn't Christian, or Muslim or Jew. It's a belief that pulsed in the cradle of civilization, and that still beats in the heart of billions. It's a faith in other people, and it's what brought me here today.

We have the power to make the world we seek, but only if we have the courage to make a new beginning, keeping in mind what has been written.

The Holy Koran tells us, "O mankind! We have created you male and a female; and we have made you into nations and tribes so that you may know one another."

The Talmud tells us: "The whole of the Torah is for the purpose of promoting peace."

The Holy Bible tells us, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

The people of the world can live together in peace. We know that is God's vision. Now, that must be our work here on Earth. Thank you. And may God's peace be upon you.

END


Thursday, April 23, 2009

Lights, Rights and Fights of a Suburban Life

21 grams is the exact weight you lose from your body when you stop breathing; rather living and reduce to a mere body; rather corpse. Is that the weight of human life?

That's a question posed by a movie, which I saw a few years back. I remember very little about the movie but this question has remained at back of my head ever since. I have got answers to it partially time and again but the complete picture I guess will emerge only in final years of my life or at least I hope so.

I am writing today after long as amidst a usual day full of struggles to reach work on time, meeting client deadlines, work handed down by boss, catching up with friends over phone or in person as something unusual happened and I asked this again

We had just finished our dinner rather left it in between and walked out after finding a family of roaches resting in the bread basket of a famous mughlai restaurant not far from my home (we didn't pay them a dime of course). A minute after expressing my disapproval over my NRI friend's holier than thou views about India and its need to improve spurred by the dinner incident that a speeding truck brushed past him pretty close and parked a minute ahead.

I don't know what got into me and I rushed to the truck instead of my friend leaving him with another colleague who he has never met before in his life. I stood in front of the giant vehicle and began yelling full blast at the driver on the deserted road well past midnight. The guy who was definitely under the influence of alcohol, was looking amused at my act as my friend had no visible injuries and he wasn't the one who was making the noise.

I did not hit the man and began making him understand where his fault lies. He had not honked or blinked his lights and was oblivious to the fact that in his steep turn he has not made his super close parking but nearly hit someone who was saved by a microsecond by my colleague who pulled my friend very briefly from a larger harm.

For a person like me who follows a philosophy aiming at world peace - Nicherin Daishonin's Buddhism , this would seemingly be contradictory to his beliefs. it is not so in fact. I made a scene and noise enough to gather an audience of 5-6 people including two rickshaw guys and snatched the driver's ringing phone which he was more focused on. He was non-chalant about the whole episode and was standing proudly with his arm stretched over the bonnet of this large automobile.

I flung at him all that he could do in any such situations and reacted to each of his arguments about not knowing Hindi, which he was surprisingly saying in Hindi. He followed it up with his attempt to play the local Marathi language card, which was again busted as I am conversant and fluent in the language. This was followed by his over the top claim that he would pay 10 - 12 thousand rupees whatever the cost of medical damage and come to police station with me after calling his boss.

I refused to budge over his half hearted sorry mumbled with no remorse what so ever. He was more worried about delay in dumping of goods that he had been carrying for the night. My anger was mounting by the minute and I was now manhandling him to get into a rickshaw and at the same time asking him if he has realised what he has done to which he retorted with a very desi "it happens" statement. That nailed it and I stopped right there and began again on twice my earlier voice. It wasn't just his mistake but more so his attitude that made me aggressive. I was downright close enough looking at him in the eye, inches from his face and hurling away to glory about his attitude. My problem was with his excuses, which were coming by the minute and piling up.

The man was not yet convinced of his mistake and the spectators began butting in trying to take my side and every time I said I would have hit him but I want him not to do something like this again, he gave me " don’t make a issue where there is none, your friend is alive" look.

I refused to relent till I hear the man admit and realise the impact of his action rather than cocky, half hearted apologies which were coming few and far in between his arguments of how honking horn would have irritated us who were from rich families and so he did not do it before turning the truck. The driver had to apologise since I gave him no other option.

He came up with a “Are you hurt?” and I looked back sharply. I saw my friend who was hurt and was now tired as he saw no point in continuing and the other one who was just waiting for me to begin hitting this man

As much as I yelled, the crowd nearby agreed and supported me by talking to the driver about what I was saying a while back i.e. his options like honking the horn or applying brake or blinking lights during the turn. I let him go but informed him about how he has to change and learn to accept his mistakes or else him and his truck would never have a good effect back and would end up leading a very sorry life as it took him good 20 minutes, public reactions and my refusal to hand his phone to him which he wanted badly. By the looks of it, he was more concerned about his calls rather than the human life that we were talking about.

It was then I handed him back his cell phone and told the guy that I wish that he changes his ways or else what has been averted today would happen and when his family runs around to get him out of jail, his boss – the contractor he was calling would actually make him realise what he has not.

We left and walked ahead to cool our heads with a drink of coffee we were originally seeking but decided to go to our respective homes instead.

Any other person would say that our day had ended on not so good note but I differ, all that happened reassured me to carry on my quest to find my answer. What is the actual weight of life? How much does it matter? How do we instil this knowledge of holding our lives as treasures of hope, dreams, love and everything there is to being alive? How do we make humans more humane?

I smoked thoughtlessly , walking towards my home which is close by and realised that I have to find out the way of talking to each of these truck drivers from within my boss, my friends, my family, my city, my country, the world and within myself. The dialogue has to continue. My task does not end at confrontation. My task is to continue holding the knowledge that human life is precious and to convert it into wisdom into my sphere of work. I have to insure my events, not to overlook the fire norms or medical attention for cost cutting. I have to stop compromising rather neglecting the voice within.

It is me who gives life its weight, its meaning. It is me who makes it what its worth. It’s us who chose with our daily lives every moment whether our 21 grams would be used to awaken the struggle to give living its dignity, it’s worth by keeping the human life at the forefront of whatever we do.

I have my answer now and assure you that I would do my best to make my 21 grams of life worth it.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Love and last night (It was love part 2)

"Come here! We will find you a hotel" yelled the rickshaw drivers outside Hyderabad Airport as soon as they saw me. It was 10 pm, supposedly an unearthly hour for an Indian small town but the presence of these gentlemen in big numbers told the story of this town being ahead of many a metro we don’t look beyond.

I knew my destination but did not know the way to get there. All I could think about was the end i.e. meeting him after forever and maybe for the final time. Soon I bargained like a citizen of Telangana region and rattled all the names of landmarks and vicinities that R had sent in his email guiding me how to get to his hotel.

My heart was beating fast and my mind swung between why I had agreed on this trip which was completely insane and all the insecurities I had conducted for an abstract four letter emotion called love. I knew that right at this moment, he was away at dinner with the family of a girl he had chosen to be his life partner. Somehow I was devoid of even thinking how much I had longed to meet his family especially his mother who he compared with me day in and day out when we were together.

It didn’t matter anymore. I was soaked in his fears of not being accepted, of not getting what he seeks from the depths of his heart and of not finding a way out of a life he leads into a life he desires. I didn’t know how and I yet don’t know when the realisation had seeped in that I cannot be happy unless he is.

I was soaked in his fears of not being accepted, of not getting what he seeks from the depths of his heart and of not finding a way out of a he life he leads into a life he desires. I stopped the driver at a medical store, bought a deo and somehow found myself for the first time in life asking for a packet of condoms. It wasn’t as if I was readying myself for the big night of romping, when I had exactly 8 hours to spend with him apart from the to and fro from the airport

It was a sheer wish to be with him in every possible way this last time that made me pass a chasm of my self imposed taboo and lines that I had drawn throughout our relationship. All of it had past its validity date and reasons

I reached the hotel before he was back in his room and thus I was early by a good 30 minutes for him to end one of his most crucial evenings and for me to see him. The time passed under the gaze of a receptionist who saw me casually dressed and cherubic faced at one of the top business hotels of Asia. She was curious of course about the nature of my visit but couldn’t afford to ask.

Browsing through the pages of ‘Brothers Karamazov' and praying for everything to go well, I passed, minutes by repeatedly glancing at my watch and listening to songs on an ipod, which he had gifted me years back and which I hadn’t separated from myself even for a day.

Anxiety got better of me as I couldn’t even call him to check and risk putting him in a spot. Our meeting had turned clandestine and we were now in rendezvous of different sorts from our earlier affair. I walked out and decided to take a quick look at the hotel premises only to find myself seeing every car that came with the hope of his arrival.

After a while and when the car count reached about a dozen, he arrived with his future family. I was far but could make out that he was extremely happy with the force in his handshake with the girl's father and the vigour of his farewell wave of hands to say goodbye to the girl's brother.

Somehow I couldn’t see the one who was now supposed to play my part in his life. They left and I found myself impressed by his preparations to impress with a black dinner jacket and formal trousers et al. something very rare that he would reserve for do-or-die affairs.

I was glad he was giving his all to this relationship. I found myself surrounded by a strange contentment with this knowledge. He was proceeding fast towards lifelong happiness rather companionship from the looks of it. I was satisfied looking at him taking that leap, driving an extra mile without begrudging anything or maybe it was just the discovery of that peaceful space within me where I buried my restlessness and anxieties springing from not seeing him for a long time but wanting to do so all this while.

I was almost hidden by the plants standing as just an anonymous silhouette in the dark night. What I saw was his happily ever after without me in it. This made me more conscious of the awkwardness of the situation I was in.

I didn’t know for the first time what to say to him. I didn’t have to. He turned to me in spite of his future in laws being within the sight. He walked towards me with his million dollar smile while I was melting from within from the heat of various thoughts running in my head and a rush of blood to my heart having seen him finally and of course the hot June breeze of the Deccan plateau.

He embraced me tight and more than being glad that he did so, I wanted him to ensure that his future life partner wouldn’t see us. It would be really awful if any of his desires got ruined because of me or us. In a minute after the Reddy family had disappeared into countless patches of green surrounding the hotel, his grip hadn’t loosened and I found myself responding.

I clutched him right under the gaze of receptionist and the doorman who had been observing me for a while continuously trying to figure the story. I closed my eyes and did not want to open them ever again. This was my moment. This was my love and its last night

(To be continued in next part)

Friday, August 11, 2006

Forbidden Love and the roadmap to decriminalization of homosexuality in India


They say that my smiles of the morning after are illegal
I am criminal of seeking love in the wrong eyes,
Charged with finding comfort in the wrong caress
Raised eyebrows and misconceptions await me everyday in the eyes of some unknown and many familiar faces
Not guilty I mutter within my heart but never plead
I breathe as ever before and love as well … though forbidden



I tread the path that each mortal desires, the one of smiles, truth and love; the problem is that some co-passengers in my journey of life feel my walk needs correction. They demand that my rythematic gait be changed into a mundane of steps approved by social standards, which don’t threaten to tear the fibre of their moral fabric.

Simply speaking Section 377 of Indian Penal code looms large over my head whenever I think of my sexual identity. I like men, which is no crime in India Legally though the social system and the recent luckhnow incidents have resulted in newspaper Headlines like “Those guilty of Homosexual acts should be hung to death”. A bit too harsh- maybe but yes it is a reaction that stems out of fear for unknown.

I have always pondered about this kind of intolerance in society - be it sexuality, religion, economic or geographical biases. They all smell the same, reeking of a stench that emanates from discrimination and divides. Although, the need of the hour almost always has been to know the similarities and to draw parallels and make compromises.

The only solution that I see to the existing “legalization of homosexuality” issue is through dialogue. There have to be contributions from every member who wants to get homosexuality legalized. Sounds hunky dory and very utopian- yes I agree but when it comes to modus operandi and maintaining the comforts of closets for those who chose it, we can definitely begin with one healthy conversation at a time.

An important aspect of this dialogue process is the old and clichéd AIDA formulae used by the advertising world for eons. AIDA stands for a multiple step process that talks of attracting A-attention, evoking I-interest, generating D-desire and finally receiving A-Accrual or in this case A – acceptance from the citizens of India.

Before we move to the key message in the first phase of attention, here is some food for thought

Amongst the various prevalent norms in the society; most people welcome any custom that accepts rather than rejecting. Any country, person who even appears receptive generally has more chances of being popular. Be it roles of politician, writer, business magnet or a parent, the most successful people have always been identified by their acceptance for new knowledge, different perspectives and for listening.

As is the case with every existent thing on this planet, what we give comes back. When we treat others with discrimination, it boomerangs back into our life almost magically. Minorities in sexual preference, religious beliefs, economically, socially backward classes or various races, all hold equal amount of grudges, layers of mistrust and thereby the resultant misfortune too.

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